Life Is Hard

Why is life hard? You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing. The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. You see, life is like diarrhea. No matter how hard you try and stop it. The shit just keeps coming. And I know from experience that there is nothing harder than pooping when you don’t have to poop. I just wish my life had background music so I could understand what the hell is going on.

Life is hard, it’s harder if you’re stupid. The phrase “Nothing is impossible” suddenly sounds like a challenge. Some people can’t take a hint. I’m having a terrible day and you come to sit beside me in the library trying to have a conversation? Read the freaking room! Plus can’t you see that I have my headphones plugged in and I’m not even playing any music? Just go away! Next time a stranger talks to you when you’re alone, just look at them shocked and whisper, “You can see me?”

It’s hard being human. It’s harder if you have trust issues. People that have trust issues only need to look in the mirror. There they will meet the one person that will betray them the most. Those who are critical don’t like being criticized, and those who are insensitive have a deficiency in their senses. Surprises are everywhere in life. And they usually come from misjudging people for being less than they appear. That cab driver that dropped you off is a big man in his hometown. It’s leisure for him.

Life is hard but when you fall, pick yourself up and say, “Who the hell pushed me?”. Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say, “I know it’s hard. You are going to be okay. Here’s a cup of coffee. And five million dollars.” It hasn’t happened yet, and that pretty much explains the rot in everyone I have in my circle. Other people get surprise vacations from their friends when they’re feeling low, my friends just call me and we bitch about the economy for five hours and that’s it.

My life feels like a test I didn’t study for. It’s funny you know, you spend twelve years of your life learning about things and life, but they never really tell you how hard life is. They teach you that money can’t buy happiness. And it’s true, the hardest thing to find in life is happiness. Money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness. But you can’t deny that there is something therapeutic about wiping your tears with 100 dollar bills.

In the end, everyone is facing their demons. Life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure slap you up sometimes. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes! Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life. When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work. The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

Hate no one, no matter how much they’ve wronged you. Live humbly, no matter how wealthy you become. Think positively, no matter how hard life is. Give much, even if you’ve been given little. Forgive all, especially yourself. And never stop praying for the best for everyone. When life gives you lemons, freeze them, and throw them as hard as possible at the people making your life difficult. And remember, don’t take life too seriously…

You won’t get out of it alive