Human nature is dismissive. Everyone thinks they have the next person figured out. Nothing is ever as it seems. Sometimes it leads to a better outcome than you could have dreamed. What looks bad today, will definitely get worse tomorrow. Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. This is true about lesson teachers, they don’t know when to leave. There’s no problem being wrong. It’s a learning opportunity. The secret to being wrong isn’t to avoid being wrong. Being wrong is acceptable but staying wrong, and being loud about it, is where I draw the line.

Teachers are the best educators. I’ve learned more from Youtube than my professors ever taught me. We’re just in the class to throw friendly banter at our mates and that’s pretty much it. Bad teaching wastes a great deal of effort and spoils many lives which might have been full of energy and happiness. Dear teachers, when 90 percent of the class fails, it’s not because they didn’t try. It’s because you’re a terrible teacher. I spent all my time in school in the library. Bad teachers can teach you to learn on your own.
Alcohol is bad. Alcohol may not solve your problems but neither would milk. When you drink alcohol, everyone says you’re an alcoholic. But when you drink Fanta, why don’t they say you’re fantastic? Alcohol doesn’t make you fat, it makes you lean…against tables, chairs, and walls. I hate when people say that you don’t need alcohol to have fun. You don’t need running shoes to run, but it helps a lot. Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to make pretty bad decisions. When you look at some of the things you’ve done when sober, you realize you shouldn’t blame alcohol.

Beauty sleep. Get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep, 9 if you’re ugly. Why is it called beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a troll? There’s nothing beautiful about your face when you’re fast asleep. Also, you don’t get any cuter if you spend the length of your days asleep. I think the term beauty sleep was coined by lazy housewives who were trying to nick an extra few hours of sleep. Hibernation must mean the opposite of beauty sleep. On a lazy Saturday when you’re lying in bed, drifting in and out of sleep, there is a space where fantasy and reality become one.
All parents care for their kids. Matter of fact, in a lot of homes, it is the kids that take care of the parents. Some parents hate their kids. And I can empathize, sometimes the kids have bad vibes. I feel bad for kids these days that see a cool toy on TV but can’t order it because their parents have to be over 18 to call in. Do you know how to spot a deadbeat dad? He’ll tell you himself. Some moms are only great on Facebook. Go ahead and act like Mom of the Year, don’t forget some of us know you in real life. A real parent puts their kid above their own selfish needs and wants.

Kids are afraid of the dark. Kids aren’t scared of the dark, it’s learned behavior. It is you who is scared of the dark. They heard you put off the light in the passage, sprint to your room, and concluded something had to be chasing you. You didn’t make it any better by telling them ghost stories and allowing them to watch TV shows rated above their ages. Now it’s difficult for them to fall asleep. Pro-tip. Never make eye contact with a kid on the verge of falling asleep. They will see your excitement and abort the mission.
All men are the same. All men aren’t the same. They are all dissappointing in their own unique way. The woman who invented the phrase “ALL MEN ARE THE SAME”, was actually a Chinese woman who lost her husband in the crowd. Black men don’t cheat. We are fiercely loyal and honest like the national anthem. I think that men who have a pierced ear are better prepared or marriage. They have experienced pain, and bought jewelry. To be happy with a man, you have to understand him a lot, and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you have to love her a lot, and try not to understand her at all.

As you read this, you think to yourself, this author must be a really wise ass. He must have this whole world figured out. I mean, how does he consistently drop these gems every week. It must take some real genius to do what he does. You know you’re a lazy reader but somehow he manages to hold your attention for over six paragraphs, or was it seven? This man must know his onions. Whoever his significant other is must be lucky. Matter of fact, you high-key wish she was you. He has his whole life figured out. He must be wealthy. A role model to others.
hahahahahahahahahahaha
© Gottfried. All rights reserved
Role model to others 🙄
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But I am 😎
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I hope you have stopped having your 12 hours beauty sleep?
I have made more wrong decisions while sober than when drunk and I’m always drunk.
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Haha, I’m trying my best to 😂😂
Lmao the last part
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😅🤣 nice one.
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Haha 😹
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Hmmm🤗
They say you are an alcoholic when you take alcohol, but they won’t say you are fantastic as you drink fanta…. literally laughing out loud 🤣🤣🤣
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Haha, they don’t rate your fanta drinking skills 😂
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Skills?
Kikikikiki 🤣🤣🤣
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😂😂😂
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The genius in this statement😅
Untill recently in a Coca-Cola add targeting children with the tag line ‘be fantastic with fanta’
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Haha, it’s really something
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Ugly ones to to sleep an extra hour, but why ?😊
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Haha, to see if there’s a miracle 😂
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To any lady reading the last paragraph and actually wishing she’s the one being referred to, joke’s on her…
Some will still fall for the hype though but on a serious note, your point of view about assumptions is valid to an extent. I mean, here’s me having sleepless nights because…never mind. Nice write up!
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C’mon, she would be living the dream 😁
Lol why are you having sleepless nights, pray tell?
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…but have you seen how happy a man is when he is drunk?😂😂
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Haha, it’s pure joy 😂
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“I’ve learned more from Youtube than my professors ever taught me.”…. Fact!!!
Worse part is the pity I felt for everytime they tried to take the credit for doing nothing.
The woman who invented the phrase “ALL MEN ARE THE SAME”, was actually a Chinese woman who lost her husband in the crowd…. whalahiii 🤣🤣
Last paragraph… That Laughter🤣🤣…. I heard it in my head. I legit burst into laughter🤣🤣
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haha, the “I remember tutoring you” brigade 😂😂😂
My Chinese audience are going to come at me 😂
haha, I was banking on it!
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To be happy with a woman, you have to love her a lot, and try not to understand her at all.
This part got me😂😂
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Haha, there is simply no need 😂
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Accurate advice
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Never gets old
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Funny and great article!
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Thank you Richa
Do have a lovely day 😚
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Your welcome 🙏 Same to you!
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Cheers 😚
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AHAHAHAHAAHA GOOOOOOOOOD
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I know right 😂
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I never understand the whole drill re: smoking, drinking, drugs and poor diet reduces fertility. Why then, do we see so many people with 3 teeth, who drink nothing but dodgy vodka, smoke 40 a day and live on rancid takeaway food – have about 24 kids?
I make no effort to do so but quietly love breaking the typical White Mum in her 40’s” stereotype more so when my kids have friends over.
Daughter pre-warned one of hers recently when she searched for something via the Amazon internet app “Just ignore whatever comes up my Mum buys weird crap all the time”
Friend “Oh don’t worry my Mum is the same always shoes, make-up and –
“Your order for Ghillie Woodland Forest Camo Suit has been Shipped”
The whole “Rule of 6” thing possibly being enforced means we might (fingers crossed) get to spend Christmas Day playing hide and seek with the dogs in nearby woodland.
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It’s like the worse the conditions, the better the fertility rate. Crackheads have like a million kids. 😂😂
haha, you gotta enforce rules because they would spend everything on your credit card
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