Human nature is dismissive. Everyone thinks they have the next person figured out. Nothing is ever as it seems. Sometimes it leads to a better outcome than you could have dreamed. What looks bad today, will definitely get worse tomorrow. Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. This is true about lesson teachers, they don’t know when to leave. There’s no problem being wrong. It’s a learning opportunity. The secret to being wrong isn’t to avoid being wrong. Being wrong is acceptable but staying wrong, and being loud about it, is where I draw the line.

Teachers are the best educators. I’ve learned more from Youtube than my professors ever taught me. We’re just in the class to throw friendly banter at our mates and that’s pretty much it. Bad teaching wastes a great deal of effort and spoils many lives which might have been full of energy and happiness. Dear teachers, when 90 percent of the class fails, it’s not because they didn’t try. It’s because you’re a terrible teacher. I spent all my time in school in the library. Bad teachers can teach you to learn on your own.
Alcohol is bad. Alcohol may not solve your problems but neither would milk. When you drink alcohol, everyone says you’re an alcoholic. But when you drink Fanta, why don’t they say you’re fantastic? Alcohol doesn’t make you fat, it makes you lean…against tables, chairs, and walls. I hate when people say that you don’t need alcohol to have fun. You don’t need running shoes to run, but it helps a lot. Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to make pretty bad decisions. When you look at some of the things you’ve done when sober, you realize you shouldn’t blame alcohol.

Beauty sleep. Get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep, 9 if you’re ugly. Why is it called beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a troll? There’s nothing beautiful about your face when you’re fast asleep. Also, you don’t get any cuter if you spend the length of your days asleep. I think the term beauty sleep was coined by lazy housewives who were trying to nick an extra few hours of sleep. Hibernation must mean the opposite of beauty sleep. On a lazy Saturday when you’re lying in bed, drifting in and out of sleep, there is a space where fantasy and reality become one.
All parents care for their kids. Matter of fact, in a lot of homes, it is the kids that take care of the parents. Some parents hate their kids. And I can empathize, sometimes the kids have bad vibes. I feel bad for kids these days that see a cool toy on TV but can’t order it because their parents have to be over 18 to call in. Do you know how to spot a deadbeat dad? He’ll tell you himself. Some moms are only great on Facebook. Go ahead and act like Mom of the Year, don’t forget some of us know you in real life. A real parent puts their kid above their own selfish needs and wants.

Kids are afraid of the dark. Kids aren’t scared of the dark, it’s learned behavior. It is you who is scared of the dark. They heard you put off the light in the passage, sprint to your room, and concluded something had to be chasing you. You didn’t make it any better by telling them ghost stories and allowing them to watch TV shows rated above their ages. Now it’s difficult for them to fall asleep. Pro-tip. Never make eye contact with a kid on the verge of falling asleep. They will see your excitement and abort the mission.
All men are the same. All men aren’t the same. They are all dissappointing in their own unique way. The woman who invented the phrase “ALL MEN ARE THE SAME”, was actually a Chinese woman who lost her husband in the crowd. Black men don’t cheat. We are fiercely loyal and honest like the national anthem. I think that men who have a pierced ear are better prepared or marriage. They have experienced pain, and bought jewelry. To be happy with a man, you have to understand him a lot, and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you have to love her a lot, and try not to understand her at all.

As you read this, you think to yourself, this author must be a really wise ass. He must have this whole world figured out. I mean, how does he consistently drop these gems every week. It must take some real genius to do what he does. You know you’re a lazy reader but somehow he manages to hold your attention for over six paragraphs, or was it seven? This man must know his onions. Whoever his significant other is must be lucky. Matter of fact, you high-key wish she was you. He has his whole life figured out. He must be wealthy. A role model to others.
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Β© Gottfried. All rights reserved
Another awesome piece as always. But I gotta tell you – anyone who thinks as you described in that paragraph ‘GOT FRIED’. Have a nice day!!
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Haha, these jokes never get old π
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You’re a very funny specieπ π . I always laugh when reading your posts.
You always write down things we can relate to.
Like seriously, what goes on in your head when you’re writing all these? Where did it all come from? I want to be like you when I grow upπ«π«.
Come and be my mentor, boss π€²π½π€²π½.
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She called me specie πππ
You have a lot of growing up to do sweetie π
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Yeah, specieπ. Aren’t we all? Secondary school biology. . .
Likeeeee. I’m at your back.π«
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Haha, great save that π
The front of my back? π
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ππ
I’ll be quiet.
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Good βΊοΈ
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You made me laugh as usual. You are so right about 99 percent of what you say.
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What did you do with my 1 percent? π
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Nobody is perfect. I wouldn’t want you to get a big head.
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Haha, thanks. Good looking out π
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Thank you for making me LMAO as usual! How do you do it? I Love you! π
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You’re welcome π
I have no idea π
Love you too β€
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You are hilarious πππ! Some therapy this is.
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Haha, ikr
It really is π
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You’re welcome
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Yes and to be with a man, you have to put up with being ignored as you have so poingently said before.
When you’re leaning on the wall, can you check on my If you’re going through Hell post or
Hell just go to hell. I think you might like it. β€οΈ U anyway.
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Haha, we don’t ignore y’all. We’re just tired of paying that much attention π
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I see that you fool….
Always all about you. TouchΓ©.π€£
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haha, we make things happen! Not our fault by any stretch.
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I know the devil made you do it.. lol
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Haha, yes! Him, devil, lucifer!
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I have Lucifer on my mantle with a mirror.. lol. Last time we were in mexico I bought a mirror with his pic.. day of the dead stuff. π€£
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Must have sent a few shivers π
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It did: I saw you in the mirror… π€£π€£π€£
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ππππ I can’t with you
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Ha ha.would be a double thriller. π
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I can already picture it π
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Which one would make it out alive? Lol
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Who knows? It’s too early to call
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These are very funny. I agreed with you on parents making their children’s needs as priorities. Thanks
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Yeah, the way I see it, if you’re going to order a few kids from heavens factory, you gotta take care of them.
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Brilliant how you educate with such good humor, very deserving of the chest thumping as your conclusion.
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Haha, I had to channel my inner wakanda π
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Hahaπ .. Nice one
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Thanks boss
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ππI’m speechless! Not totally out of words, but where do I begin to comment as there is so much I want to write here. How you got me hooked is what amazes me. You are real and I like the way you express your thoughts when writing. Most times, when I see your post and I’m at work, I don’t want to open because I’ll be hooked reading and before I realise, I’ve spent a lot of time on your page,π and ignored my work. Hahahaha. Keep writing! You are admired.
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Call me Captain Hook π
Please don’t get fired, I don’t have any openings!
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π π€£
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π π
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