The Deadliest Sin

It started with Envy. For Envy, when you can’t have one, pissing people off who do is the next best thing. Of the seven deadly sins, only envy is no fun at all. Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own. It is the character of very few men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered. The thing about envy is that you can be the moon and still be jealous of the stars. And with good reason, the moon just isn’t as shiny. Blowing out someone’s candle doesn’t make yours shine brighter. You might accidentally blow out both.

Hypocrite has got everyone scared. If there’s anything he has in his locker, it’s audacity. Hypocrites get offended by the truth. Some of the biggest hypocrites are those who are blind to their own faults but are quick to judge others. I always say, practice what you preach or change your speech. It’s so funny how you’ve ended up doing the same thing you looked to judge others for. It’s almost like everybody is a hypocrite. Oh, what’s that word, you know when someone boasts of good character and moral standards they have, and then they do the complete opposite? Go ahead. Judge me. Just remember to be perfect for the rest of your life.

Gluttony wasn’t having any of it. Gluttony is the kind of guy to eat the neighbors’ wife’s popcorn when she’s absent-minded. Gluttony is not a secret vice. Curiosity is Gluttony, to see is to devour. This is why I hide my food. In love, as in gluttony, pleasure is a matter of utmost precision. Our fear of hypocrisy is forcing us to live in a world where gluttons are fine, so long as they champion gluttony. Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us. Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great. True story.

Here comes Lust. Greed and Lust are the only vices that abuse something essential to our survival. Curiosity is the lust of the mind. Make of that what you will. Lust usually feels like love until it’s time to make a sacrifice. Next thing you know, her calls start to irritate you. The difference between Lust and Love is that Lust relieves tension and love causes it. Oh and know this, Lust’s passion will be served. It demands, it militates, and it tyrannizes. How else do you explain traveling to a whole other state without telling anybody? What if you died?

Oh Hatred! While you’re sanitizing and wiping everything down, be sure to wipe hatred out of your heart. That’s a virus, too. I want to be the reason you look down and smile. Then walk into a pole. People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember that I have a reason. In truth, people that hate you are just your confused admirers. They can’t figure out the reason everyone loves you and it drives them crazy. Hate has caused a lot of problems in this world, but it has not solved one yet. Some people have hatred in their blood so unfortunately, it can be cleaned.

Still have Greed to contend with. Greed is not a financial issue, it’s a heart issue. Greed offers you a bottomless pit that exhausts you in an endless effort to satisfy your need without ever reaching satisfaction. The richest of the rich is one who is not a prisoner to Greed. I write this as the richest man in the world. As long as greed is stronger than compassion, there will always be suffering. Hear me out though, being rich and wanting to keep the money you earn is not greed. Being uninformed, uneducated, and of able mind and body while wanting to take money from someone who has earned it, however, is!

Jealousy will like to say Hi. As you might have guessed, Jealousy is the cousin of Greed. A jealous woman does more research than the FBI. Jealousy is a disease. If you ran like your mouth, you’d be in good shape. Jealousy is also a sign that you really love that person. Nothing pleases me more than a jealous girlfriend. Never hate people who are jealous of you, but respect their jealousy. They’re people who think you’re better than them. Sometimes you’re not even jealous but they try to force it. Me? Jealous of you? Bless your delusional little heart. I’m not the jealous type, but what’s mine is mine. End of story.

Here comes the icing on the cake, our bosom friend Stupidity. Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. Stupidity like love is boundless. Everything happens for a reason. But sometimes the reason is that you’re stupid and you make bad decisions. No matter how smart you are, you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid. Believe me, I’ve tried. Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that’s who you are. Don’t try to be someone that society wants you to be. That’s stupid.

So be yourself