There’s no such thing as too much affection. If your partner complains about you choking them with too much love, that’s not your partner. You don’t just stop loving someone. You either always will, or you never did in the first place. When someone yells Stop! I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. It’s all too confusing sometimes. If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.
The grind ends when you’re dead. You don’t stop having fun when you get old. You get old when you stop having fun. I’m in my early thirties and I feel like I was around the same time as the founding fathers. I don’t know how to act my age, I’ve never been this age before. Funny how when we start to tell a secret, we can’t stop. Something falls open in us, and the sheer momentum of letting go pushes us on. If you’re a quitter, don’t stop now. Don’t allow a motivational speaker to stop you from fulfilling your one true purpose in life.
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and it doesn’t stop working until you get to the office. Sometimes when you’re at home, it takes periodic breaks when you go to the store to get something or you just opened the fridge. Now you’re standing there one hand on the fridge questioning your entire existence. After my futile attempt at remembering, I go back to the room and I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull up my duvet. If that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what else does.
End of the world. Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. That’s why it’s just mini-worlds collapsing. Sometimes your world is coming crashing down and you look across the counter and see a fat kid eating yet another burger, and you think to yourself, life isn’t really that bad. This kid probably has diabetes and yet he’s smiling. Now a stranger is talking loudly in my ear so I slap him. “I’m sorry I slapped you but you didn’t seem like you’d ever stop talking and I panicked”. Slapped him all the way out of the restaurant.
Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. Had a chat with a friend and he said, “A successful man is one who can lay a foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him”. So I threw a couple of bricks at him and nearly killed him. He’s in the hospital as you read this but at least he now has more bricks for his faulty foundation. Of course I do love him very much. You see, love is like war. Easy to begin, but very hard to stop.
I don’t stop when I’m tired, I stop when I’m done. And that’s how Matthew kicked the bucket, literally. Sometimes your body needs to rest, it’s a machine you know, give it a break. If you’re tired, take a break. Don’t think of it as stopping, you’re just getting a breather. But if you need to do squats, don’t stop till you get a butt. Isn’t it weird that we face one hand that knows how to do everything? And then the other hand sits there like, “I don’t know how to hold a pencil”. What if something were to happen to your dominant hand? Train your recessive hand today, it could come in handy.
The reset button. Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say ‘Close Enough’. It’s annoying because when you hit the reset, the prompt asks you to create a new password, then you put in the password that was supposedly wrong and it goes ‘Sorry you can’t use your old password’. What? You just said that password was incorrect! Then you have to fill in the CAPTCHA and get asked if you’re a robot by, wait for it, an actual robot! But you manage to stop your fist from going right through the device because you haven’t even finished paying for it yet.
Your dreams are valid. The time you dreamt about peeing in the dream and woke up in a pool of urine wasn’t coincidental. Don’t let small minds convince you that your dreams are too big. It doesn’t matter how slowly you go, as long as you don’t stop. This doesn’t apply for when you’re driving on the highway, unless you don’t mind getting shown the middle finger every now and then. Don’t sit back and let things happen to you. Go out and happen to things. Don’t stop.
Until you’re proud
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