Guilty Pleasures

What’s a guilty pleasure? No idea, you? What’s my guilty pleasure? The thing is, I never feel guilty about my pleasures. If you enjoy something, there’s nothing guilty about it. I mean, you might end up in prison, but at least you’ll go in with a smile on your face. There are two parts to a Guilty Pleasure. If you’re going to suffer the guilt, make sure you enjoy the pleasure. When it’s after 2 am just go to sleep because the decisions you make after 2 am are the wrong decisions.

Short is the joy that guilty pleasure brings. One minute you’re in the seventh heaven, the next, you’re at the mall buying pampers for Junior. My God! strollers are expensive. Block her number and focus on yourself Kings, it’s not worth it. If you know that’s a sin, then why won’t you stop doing it? I had the right to remain silent, but I didn’t have the ability! I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but let’s face it, I’m hilarious.

Don’t pretend. Life is too short to pretend you don’t like catchy Taylor Swift songs. Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. “Is that Taylor Swift?” “Yes, you fraud. Isn’t she the most played artist on your Spotify?” Music produces a kind of pleasure that human nature cannot do without. Watching ‘Scandal’ is a fun and exciting guilty pleasure, which is how I imagine most real scandals start out. The only people mad at me for speaking the truth are those people living a lie.

Words. When your woman starts getting too happy and you’re wondering if you should say something to hurt her feelings or be quiet and let her have her moment. Shake her up a bit you know, to douse all the excitement and happy energy because it’s exhausting and you can’t keep up. Laziness. Not studying all day, feeling guilty, still doing nothing. I don’t have any bad habits. I’m good at all of them. The guilty think all talk is of themselves. If you think they’re talking about you, you’re guilty.

Food guilt? You ate something bad. Food shame? You’re a bad person for eating that. Ditch the shame. Dieting is easy. It’s like riding a bike. Except the bike is on fire. And the ground is on fire. And everything is on fire because you are in hell. Oh, and you’re still craving brownies. Here’s a diet tip. Your pants never get too tight if you don’t wear any. I hate when I’m buying vegetables and when I get home I discover they’re just regular donuts. It’s very *takes a bite* annoying!

Conscience betrays guilt. Guilt is the gift that keeps giving. In a closed society where everybody’s guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity. The defendant wants to hide the truth because he’s generally guilty. The defense attorney’s job is to make sure the jury does not arrive at that truth. Lies cannot hide the truth. It will show up by itself someday. Guilt is to the spirit what pain is to the body.

Don’t feel guilty, you should have felt it before. Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. Then go and do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive. Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do. Forgive me now

Tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty