Whitemail is the use of fear, obligation, and guilt to control another person. It’s a rare strain of emotional blackmail found in adults over forty years of age. The self is like a pimping blackmailing chauffeur who gets you from here to there on word lines. Always remember this. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else. If you were meant to be controlled, you would have come with a remote.

Blackmailed by sweet-smelling roses. I stopped to smell roses once. A bee flew out of the flower and up my nose. It stung me in the nasal vestibule causing a severe allergic reaction and six days of a swollen septum. Now whenever I see roses, I keep walking. Narcissists often pause their abuse with intermittent periods of seeming kindness and warmth. This causes you to become trauma-bonded to them, constantly trying to make them happy. Then when they became abusive again, you may believe you deserve it.

Blackmail is one of the great past-times of family life. All children blackmail their parents with their innocence. The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana. While you’re stabbing my back, would it hurt you to also kiss my behind? If you’re going to be two faced at least make one of them pretty. Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them an extra bullet for their gun because they missed you the first time.

Friendship is mutual blackmail elevated to the level of love. True friends are the ones that have nice things to say about you behind your back. A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked. Too many people take advantage of the trust they are given. Five enemies of peace inhabit with us – avarice, ambition, envy, anger, and pride. If these were to be banished, we should infallibly enjoy perpetual peace.

Whitemail is more effective than bribery. No banks should become so big that they can blackmail the government. In the same vein, Government by blackmail is incompatible with Democracy. Rights are something made up by the government to make you feel like you’re buying something with your taxes. Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. Love is a wonderful thing, my dear, but it leaves you wide open for blackmail.

Gratitude is a debt that usually goes on accumulating like blackmail. The more you pay, the more is demanded. Let’s pray that the human race never escapes to spread its iniquity elsewhere. Whatever happens, know this for sure, whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you. Being nice to people gets you nowhere. Being arrogant gets you nowhere.

Blackmail, now that’s a thing that will get you everywhere.

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

340 thoughts on “Whitemail

  1. This issue with getting a car battery is once it fails you only get one replacement. If you choose people you can get married as many times as you want.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Wow! This made my day. Came for the title, stayed for the beautifully written piece. How very true that we all perpetuate blackmail, white mail, without even having to think about it! This is whimsically pleasing and has a charming tone to it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love your tongue-in-cheek humor. My favorite of your comments today is the one where you suggested something to the effect of: “If we need to be two-faced, the least we can do is make one of them beautiful… so kiss my ass!” Well you didn’t say it quite so crudely, but I caught the drift! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can’t decide that everything you say is a gibberish or true fact. I suspect it is somewhere in between. LOL, When you talk about the government, it makes me shudder because most of the time it makes no sense, and perfect sense! We are coming off of 4 years of nonsense and also chaos, to a bunch of either too nice or afraid to do what is necessary.

    Liked by 1 person

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