How To Deal With Nagging

~ Gottfried

Behind a nagging woman, there is a man not doing what he’s supposed to. My wife’s nagging is like living near the airport. After a while, you don’t notice it anymore. You see, there are only three things women need in life. Food, water, and compliments. Any woman that’s trying to get you to provide anything extra is greedy. Don’t indulge her. In truth, nagging is a repetition of unpalatable truths. I mean, I’ll admit you’re right but can you at least take a day off? Call it a nag-free holiday!

Appreciate her. I know she contributes a grand total of nothing to your life, but humor her sometimes. Matter of fact, humor her every time if you can manage it. It’s quite simple, women only nag when they feel unappreciated. So you go, honey, no one makes these omelettes like you. Like that’s a compliment. It’s literally omelettes. Women get mad when we suggest that they have too much makeup on their faces. Just because it’s called makeup, it doesn’t mean it should make up 100% of your face.

Set a reminder. Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every six months about it. Nagging or argument is only healthy and needed if it aims to resolve issues not to prove to the other partner how wrong he/she is and how right you are. From arguments, there should be solutions, understanding, and peace. If your arguments always lead to fights, get enrolled in the UFC.

Foul play. I think the word nagging was coined by a man. Men throw the word nagging to get women to pipe down. To some, nagging means to stop asking them questions, then they get away with more. I don’t think, I’m positive it was definitely created by a man. Just say she’s nagging and you can dodge all accountability. Interestingly men nag too. But we do it intermittently, like we’re fasting. And women think it’s cute. Until it’s not.

Beautiful death. Her nagging is a sign that she cares. Silence means she’s already plotting your death. So at least you know there’s a way out if you get tired. Instead of nagging about your spouse, try bragging about your spouse. Build them up, don’t tear them down. Focus on what they’re doing right, instead of always pointing out what they’re doing wrong. If you can’t see anything they’re doing right, you’re most likely blind and need to get your eyes checked.

The two most deadly weapons in the world. Women’s nagging and women’s tears! Between both, humanity could be facing extinction. When women combine both, they can make a man act like a tortoise. Right back into his shell. When a woman cries, it’s not usually over one thing. It’s built up anger and emotions she has been holding in for too long. This is why my advice is that as she cries, you watch her face closely for clues. If the tears are high-pitched, it means she’s mad at you. If she’s sobbing quietly, you had nothing to do with it. She could be crying because of the weather.

Patience. It takes patience to keep a nagging wife, fortune to keep an ambitious wife, and four eyes to keep a pretty wife. The last thing a man wants to come home to after fighting this world is round two with his woman. Which is why you should fight him before he leaves for work every morning without fail. To set the tone for the battles of the day. My wife told me the other day that I don’t take her to expensive places anymore.

So I took her to the gas station

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

540 thoughts on “How To Deal With Nagging”

  10. Well, it’s funny and SOMEWHAT true like all funny things, even though it’s loaded with gender bias, Humor gets you away with a lot. Let’s see, she’s “nagging” why? She can’t “nag” unless she’s been repeatedly blown off for those what was it “six months?” If you’ve heard her more than once to realize she’s actually “nagging,” that’s at least a plus because it’s shocking how many times he says “you never told me that.” or “I didn’t hear that.” Because of course, there is the deafness involved in the very pitch in which his wife speaks. What is the male version of “nag” though, because they DO DO it. Let’s see. They can’t “bitch,” or “whine,” the former is still a female inference, the latter used to refer to someone being childish. He’s an asshole for sure, but just what is the term for the act of being that asshole. Oh yes, begging, they do that ( for sex which he’d just GET easily if his hearing improved and if he actually cared about what she was in fact “nagging” about). Still, what would be the male version of nag or bitch. “Yelling” has no gender connotation. Complain has no male denigration to it. So the act complaining or yelling, of being that asshole has no male derogatory terminology that I can think of off the top of my head. Hmm. I’ll have to ponder that. And BTW, most of us never cry. Though we might change the locks on the door.

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    3. I’m not gonna lie, you’re speaking your truth in this submission. I’m half hoping that the fellas reading this know where to draw the line.

      Fellas, to get more sex just improve your hearing. I owe you a bottle of the finest red wine 😂

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      1. I sense your intense sarcasm, but actually your writing does please me quite often. 🙂 All sarcasm aside. Well, to be more precise, it doesn’t always PLEASE me, though quite often it does because I like y our humor a lot most of the time when you aren’t being a bit too cavalier and flip over things not always funny; it definitely always interests me, draws me in. Keeps me reading. You do some interesting things with structure and style, too. I used to tell my dad I wanted to go somewhere neat, take a trip. He said we could go to Perry Corners. There were TWO gas stations there — and nothig else…Must be a Y chromosome thing.

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        1. I know it’s a bit early in the day but I absolutely love your dad and I wish he could adopt me for a bit 😅

          My very existence is to please you sweetheart. I’ll get back to my task 😅

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