Real Joy

Everyone wants happiness, don’t let them take it. Some people cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go. Be happy, it drives people crazy. Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness. A lot of people only feel joy once a week, and that’s the drive home on friday to usher in the weekend. If you weren’t so worried about pointless things like homelessness and starvation, you’d have quit your job. But you somehow keep going. When will you grow a pair of balls?

The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes. When I was poor, I enjoyed going to the cinema with the crowds. Now that I am rich, I have convinced myself that the only way I will enjoy the movie is if I rent out the entire movie theatre. I have the same feeling about theme parks. They say money doesn’t bring happiness, but everyone wants to prove it for themselves. I used to have only one friend in the poor days. As I got rich, my friend suffered a curious case of inferiority complex so I ditched him and bought ten new friends. The small problem is that these new friends always want to try out new fancy restaurants and I don’t have the facilities for that.

How to get real joy. Step one, find a girl named Joy. Step two, get her pregnant. Step three, kidnap the kid at the hospital. Step four, raise the kid as your own. Step five, for her eighteenth birthday, reunite Joy jnr with her mother. Step six, stay a fair distance out and watch them embrace each other. That’s real joy right there. You made that happen. You should be very proud of yourself. Also, check yourself into a mental health institution and offer free consultancy services as a ‘joy’ expert. The streets need your expertise.

Laugh. How wonderful it is that we can laugh because our bodies cannot contain the joy. If you’re a joyful, ecstatic person, life is always brief. Even if you live to be 100, it’s still very brief. Only miserable people have a very long life. Imagine not being able to laugh. Sounds like an illness to me. I am thankful for laughter except when milk comes out of my nose. Joy in your heart, and some laughter on your lips is a sign that deep down you have a pretty good grasp of life.

Eat. In the food world, there is no fear or guilt, only joy and balance. That’s something I’ve noticed about food: whenever there’s a crisis if you can get people to eat normally, things get better. Food is our common ground, a universal experience. There is no love sincerer than the love of food, and nothing will bring you greater joy than a freshly cooked homemade meal. The only thing better than food is a food fight.

Talk less, do more. It’s a common delusion that you can make things better by talking about them. Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign your happiness to anyone. This is why all my relationships didn’t work. I don’t have enough happy energy for two. Also, stop worrying. Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. All it does is steal your joy and keep you very busy doing nothing. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. A sense of humor is needed armor. Keep going. Happiness is a direction, not a place.

When I’m gone. If you’re going to make people around you joyful and relieved only when you die, that’s not a good way to live. Unfortunately for those who love me, this is the exact path I have chosen. When I finally kick the bucket, I want there to be a roar of loud celebration. I want my family, immediate and extended, to take a boat cruise in jubilation. I currently rule with an iron fist and I’m not going to spare the rod. When I’m gone, you can celebrate. But for now, listen to my orders. Capiche? Now, say ‘Bubbles‘

There’s no angry way to say bubbles