Understanding

I’m only responsible for what I say, not what you understand. It’s not my fault you don’t have the requisite IQ to comprehend what I’m saying. I’m so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I’m saying. My genius becomes so overwhelming I can almost taste it. It takes a real gift to say a multitude of words that amount to absolutely nothing. Like a meteorologist reporting on the weather.

Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups. Bachelor and Husband. Men have a basic understanding of complex ideas. Women have a complex understanding of basic ideas. Don’t try to understand women. Women understand women, that’s why they hate each other. The only way to love her properly is to be deliberately obtuse. What you don’t know can’t kill you.

If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough. Don’t try to bamboozle me with a multitude of words that mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. You’re not a college professor. Or the guy from Money Heist. People don’t always need advice. Sometimes all they need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, a heart to understand them and a knock on the head.

The biggest mistake a human being can make is listening halfway, understanding quarter and telling double. That awkward moment when you still can’t understand someone after they’ve repeated themselves about five times. So you exclaim, “oh that!“ so they’re satisfied and you can be put out of your misery. If I’m making you repeat yourself, it’s because what you’re saying isn’t making any sense.

Sometimes understanding what a woman wants is very difficult. It’s like trying to figure out what color, the letter seven, smells like. Here’s what you do. Do not listen with the intent to reply, but with the intent to understand. That way you’ll understand that she’s not telling you her problems so that you’ll solve them. All she wants you to do is hear her out. This works great especially if she’s the problem.

I stopped explaining myself when I realized people only understand from their level of perception. Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t meant it isn’t so. The true mark of maturity is when somebody hurts you and you try to understand their situation instead of trying to hurt them back. Not me though, I’m not trying to be mature. Prepare for hell!

Sometimes understanding is more important than being right. Sometimes we need not a brilliant mind that speaks but a patient heart that listens. Not keen eyes that see faults but open arms that accept. Not a finger that points out mistakes but gentle hands that lead. Do you know that awesome feeling when you finally understand math?

Me neither (it’s never too late to drop out)

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