The Gift of Common Sense

~ Gottfried

Common sense is not a gift. It’s a punishment because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it. This country needs a department of common sense. It’s the one industry that needs all the funding. I know it doesn’t make sense to you because you don’t have common sense. Stop punishing me. Life is hard enough as it is. In the quest for happiness, you should always use common sense.

Common sense is like deodorant. People who need it never use it. You see, common sense is in spite of, not as the result of education. This is a common mistake parents make. Only your genes can save your kids, not the teachers. Stop asking teachers to perform miracles. Your kid is not all that. Spend more time praying for a miracle.

Common sense is so rare these days, it should be considered a Superpower. He who does not have common sense at the age of thirty will never have it. For some of you, this is a pleasant welcome development. For others, it’s a horror story. You know that tingly feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body. It’s been happening a lot lately.

Common sense is like a flower, it doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden. And for those who grow it, it’s also important to water it from time to time and also weed out the nonsense. Unfortunately, not everyone has great gardening skills. So you meet someone who ordinarily should have common sense, and all they talk is nonsense. It gives me a headache. Here, take this shovel.

I wish common sense was more common. It’s such a rare form of intelligence that only 1 in 12,000 are born with it. What that means is that I’m the only one with common sense in my community. Do you realize how scary that is? Let me assure you that the humorless as a bunch don’t just not know what’s funny, they don’t know what’s serious. They have no common sense either and shouldn’t be trusted with anything.

Why on earth is it called common sense if so few have it? The name itself is a running joke. Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing. Moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. There are so many things money cannot buy. Like manners, morals, a sense of humor and common sense. Have money though, so that your stupidity is bearable.

I wonder if common sense will ever make a comeback? You don’t need religion to have morals. If you can’t determine right from wrong then you lack empathy, not religion. Unfortunately, no matter how big a hammer you use, you can’t knock common sense into stupid people. But you can take solace in the fact that you can hurt them back for putting you through hell. If you’re looking for me, I’m at the store window shopping for a hammer.

It’s the season 🎁

© Gottfried. All rights reserved.

288 thoughts on “The Gift of Common Sense”

  1. One of my co-workers at my last gig used to say this, “Common sense ain’t common” because we came in contact with far too many senseless people on a daily basis at work. Lol.

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      1. Yes, it was me reading at a different time to usual. Not programmed and no common sense. 😜
        Reread and laughed so Monday now improved.
        Reminds me of this:-
        ‘When you are dead you do not know you are dead, all the pain is felt by others. The same happens when you’re stupid’

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  9. “You know that tingly feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body. It’s been happening a lot lately”

    Okay, common sense has left me in this instance before. Yeah well, I got it back and vowed never to let go of it no more; I’ve decided to stay wicked

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