Coping with Disaster

~ Gottfried

Everything that happens is meant to be. It’s meant to happen like that. You, scrolling with your thumb as you read this. But sometimes you don’t know at the time that it’s meant to be a disaster. In all natural disasters through time, man needs to attach meaning to tragedy, no matter how random and inexplicable the event is.

In the event of a natural disaster, I have strategically placed rum in various locations. Frankly, I don’t need the threat of impending natural disaster to stock up on liquor. It’s impossible to panic when you’re drunk to stupor. When the disaster sees you, it will shudder. The women will drink while the men sit and think of a way out.

Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don’t let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months. Some people don’t like change, but you need to embrace change if the alternative is disaster. As an optimist, I figure that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster. It’s more like a CHA-CHA.

Taking a dog named Shark to the beach is always a bad idea. I’ll see your hot mess and I’ll raise you a walking disaster. The thing with overconfidence is, this is going to be a disaster. And when the chips are down, you’re not going to have anyone else to blame by yourself. I’m not a hot mess, I’m a spicy disaster.

Every disaster movie starts with the government ignoring a scientist. Lack of preparation on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine. A true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him. And I’m not referring to just his bum. I don’t just flirt with disaster, I give it an orgasm.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. You can handle just about anything that comes at you on the road with a believable grin, common sense and whisky. Don’t buy into campaigns against drinking and driving. It’s a ploy to limit your potential. Drinking and driving allows you see things with your third eye.

Sharingan

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

50 thoughts on “Coping with Disaster”

  3. Oh Dear Lord Oh the Synchronicity Mr Gottfried

    As The Topic Here Today on BanterRepublic
    (Notice the Plug) Is on Natural Disasters

    Both Nature Made And Man Made

    Like if You Don’t Change Your

    Password And Where You Play
    Online Gets the Mischief of Hacking

    Well, Well, Well, The Water is Deep On the
    Emerald Green Gulf Coast As Totals of Rain

    Now Exceed Two Feet in the Last Few Days

    An F2 Tornado Hits the Beach And the Panhandle

    of Texas Gets Decimated in a Town By an F3 Tornado There

    Speaking of F3 Tornados If Hurricanes Like Erin, Ivan, Katrina
    (Also the Name of my Wife) Danny And Sally Weren’t Enough Since
    1995 Here Yes Way Back in 1962 When i am 2 An F-3 Tornado Was

    The Deadliest Tornado in the State of Florida in Our Hometown Yes

    Decimating Homes and Life With Over A Hundred Homes Destroyed

    17 Deaths and Over 80 Injuries too The Neighborhood i Lived in later

    (Then My Aunt and Cousins Survived Hanging onto the Pipes in Their
    Bathroom Together the Rest of their Home Yes Was Demolished Then)

    Had Cracks in the Ceiling in Memorial of That Destructive Doomsday

    Weather Event at the End of March of 1962 Yet That’s Not All Nope

    That’s Not all as it Just So Happens A Place Where i Play online

    Was Mischievously Hacked And Sort of Like ‘The Joker’

    Some of Us Were Permanently Banned Like me

    Hehe only to Find Ourselves Unbanned a

    Few Minutes Later i Figured Out Who

    It Was From the Beginning an

    Inside Job Indeed

    Ya Know Personalities

    Are Like Finger Prints They
    Leave Tracks Behind So Very Clear

    Anyway i Tend to Get Along With Everyone

    Sort of Like a ‘Sore Thumb’ Folks Tend to Ignore

    That’s the Way to Be Don’t Let Anyone Take You too
    Serious and You Tend to Become Invisible Enough to
    Keep Your Wings Hehe Yet Again That’s Not all as We

    Arrived to Church After the Homily as Usual 30 Minutes

    Late as i tend to Stay on the Computer Writing too Much

    As You Might Imagine Here tonight too One of my Favorite

    Songs to Sing at Communion “On Eagle’s Wings” i Was Fixing

    to Belt Out From the Back Pew With the Choir Upfront and

    SUDDENLY DEAR LORD THE EMERGENCY BROADCAST ON

    EVERY DAMN PHONE IN THAT PLACE WENT OFF LIKE AN

    AIR RAID SOUND TO TAKE COVER AS DOPPLER RADAR

    INDICATED A TORNADO WAS ABOVE US IN THE

    AREA AS THE LIGHTS WENT OFF MY

    Wife was in the Lobby as NO She

    Doesn’t Like Sitting in Crowds

    of Hundreds of Folks

    She Saw the Double Steel Glass

    Doors Shaking And coming Open

    With the Pressure Change Above Below Even
    Before the Winds Came Next oh Dear Dear Lord

    The Walls Were a Shaking and the Doors Were Getting

    Blown Open Sounded Like a Freight Train Outside So i Sat

    With my Wife in the Lobby Finding Her There And We Waited

    Out what Seemed like Forever to See if the Tornado Would

    Actually Touch Down on Us Well It Didn’t Yet Many Trees

    Down Around the Area and Hit and Miss Destruction

    Too Around the DownTown Area and a Bit North

    Where We Live too So Yep This is my Destruction

    Story of the Day As i Finish A Celebration of

    “Nether Land Bible 7 YearS Old 9.3 MiLLioN Words”

    Tonight Seemed Kinda Fitting i Guess Almost Apocalyptic

    Indeed Yet So Far it Isn’t the End of the World As We Know it Yet
    The Website
    i Play on is

    Getting all
    Bandaged Up

    More Storms Predicted
    For Tomorrow Hopefully
    No More Big News Like

    This to Report to You
    Mr Gottfried on the Natural Disaster Front

    Hope You are Enjoying Dry Sunshine in Nigeria…

    Yet Not Too Dry of Course Oh Dear Lord Nature Rules!..:)

    -Godzilla

    Liked by 3 people

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      1. Ah Yes i Love Playing With CuLTuRaL Meme’s

        i’ve Already Used “ET” “Big Foot” And “Jonathan

        Livingston Seagull” This Week And Of Course “Buddha”
        “Jesus” and “Lao Tzu” Are More of my Favorite’s True too

        In Fact i’m Using

        ‘The Eggman’

        And ‘The Walrus’ Dear Mr Gottfried

        From that Old Beatle’s ‘Non-Sense’
        Poem Turned into A Best Selling Global Song

        For the Multi-Media of the Previously Finished

        Written Part of “FB Profile Pic Bible 6 YearS Old
        7.7 MiLLioN Words” NoW As i Continue to Write “Nether Land
        Bible 7 YearS Old 9.3 MiLLioN Words” NeW as Another Ongoing

        Subchapter EPiC Long Form Poem of Longest EPiC Long Form Poem
        “SonG oF my SoUL” All 11.8 MiLLioN Words in 118 Months Now Continuing

        On too As Just
        A Few Never
        Ending Stories

        i Am Creating Including
        “Nether Land Bible” True too

        Yet Back to Godzilla The Fire Breathing
        Atlantic Ocean CuLTiVaTiNG Tropical Storm
        Brett Generally coming our Way is Petering Out

        Potentially Part of the El-Nina Impact in the Pacific Ocean of Course

        A Potential Saving Grace for Atlantic Hurricanes This Year Thank Goodness

        So Away from
        “Godzilla” i Go

        Back to “The Eggman”

        And “The Walrus” i Continue to Grow

        i Have Close to a Thousand Dance T-Shirts

        With Various CuLTuRaL MeMe’s my Wife Has
        Purchased for me for the 18,453 Miles of Public
        Dance in 9 Years and 9 Month So Far Oh Dear

        Lord She Just Purchased
        Two More Last Night

        Creativity Continues

        To Spring As Long as the
        Story of Humanity Grows New
        And Continually Refreshed and

        Not As Stale And Stagnant From
        Old Technologies of “Godzilla’s Breath” Hehe

        Anyway Relatively Mild Thunderstorms All Day
        Great For Hot-Chocolate And Run-On Sentences
        of Course hehe..:)

        -me1
        -me2
        -me3

        Yet No Despicable

        Leader of Minions i Am

        (As Far As i Know At Least)

        Until my Wife Buys The Public Dance T-Shirt
        And A Third Closet and New Home to Fit More

        T-Shirts!…

        And No i Do
        Not Have

        That

        Kind of Orange
        ‘TRuMP’ T-Shirt Yet HAha…

        SPeaKinG of Global-Wide ‘Joker’ Disasters..;)

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

  7. “I don’t just flirt with disaster, I give it an orgasm”
    How do you even come up with these thoughts?😂😂

    In the spirit of attaching meaning to every tragedy, reading your post got me late to work today😏
    It just has to be you😂

    Cheers to the king of banter✨

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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