Trying too Hard

~ Gottfried

Trying is the first step toward failure. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of monthly payments. If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three. You know what they say? “third times the charm.” If you never want to forget your wife’s birthday, try forgetting it once.

I try to be a nice person sometimes but my mouth doesn’t cooperate. It’s worse when I’ve been at it all day and just before evening I let one rip and ruin the whole momentum. Should have kept the headphones on. It’s not easy being me, but it’s fun watching you try. Just do what the duck says.

Do or do not. There is no try. “Will you call me when you get home?” “I’ll try”. What do you mean by that? Here’s a conversation hack for you; don’t try to give a funny opinion. Rather, give your opinion in a way that will be funny. I try not to laugh at my own jokes but we all know I’m hilarious.

They said “don’t try this at home” so I’m coming over to your house to try it. While you expect me, call an ambulance? When you try your best and fail miserably, always remember the lesson to be learned. Never try your best. I tried to be normal once. It was the worst two minutes of my life.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer someone else up. You can then live vicariously through their own happiness. I’ve just discovered that my laugh makes people’s laugh to laugh. I’ve been trying to elevate small talk to medium talk with this lady. She’s not even trying.

Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. I almost succeeded but I couldn’t get rid of the ants. Punched myself in the face while trying to pull up my blanket the other day. I now sleep on the floor. These days, I’m trying to think how I can think

of what I want to think.

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

52 thoughts on “Trying too Hard”

  1. “Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body” Factos. In other words, money cannot buy happiness.

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