No Vacancy

~ Gottfried

A man who marries his mistress creates a vacancy for that role. I find it bizarre when former mistresses now wives complain about the entrance of a new mistress. This is literally how you got your promotion, stop being a hater.

My career plans were much more exciting when I was five. You’re only allowed to be busy if you’re planning towards retirement. Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life. I don’t even know what that means but it sounded fancy so I typed it out.

I like work, it fascinates me; I sit and look at it for hours. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. Nothing sends your heart spiraling like going on a job site and seeing your organization advertising the role you currently occupy. You just know you’re getting a promotion.

Sometimes the best part of the job is a chair that swivels. Don’t pick a job with great vacation time. Pick one that doesn’t need escaping from. If only you could see how small a vacancy your death will leave, you would think less of the place you occupy in your lifetime.

Ensure that your head is empty at all times. It’s what helps you be at peace. Don’t let negative people rent a space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out! Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get. The only thing that has ever sat its way to success is a hen.

Vacancy in my heart for a true friend. Eligible candidates must be loving, caring and kind. Your duty is to love me, even until death. Experience is not required. Your salary will be my never ending love. You must be willing to start immediately. Are you interested?

Send in your résumé

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

80 thoughts on “No Vacancy”

  2. What goes around comes around for the mistress..So does for the tenants occupying rent free space in mind…Just recently kicked them all out and feeling so light headed….

    Every morning I see the wishlist I have made on Amazon. It gives me all the excitement to romance my job and encouragement to go to my office…

    Oh btw…i sent my application..did u receive..??

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. What did they think would happen eventually? People never cease to amaze me really.

      It’s the amazon wishlist keeping all of us going at this rate.

      Let me check spam very quickly, I’ll be right back

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  8. Well, you know I love you. Thanks for making me smile remembering my swivel chair on wheels. Now I worry when I don’t know what to knit next. That’s a bigger problem than I would have guessed when I peddled steel on my fabulous chair. I didn’t even think about making anything. I sold steel. That was as important as I could be in the construction of things business. Happy week to you.

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