Grooming

Common sense is like deodorant, those that need it the most never used it. Success is a great deodorant, it takes away all your past smells. Keep reaching for the stars. But, please, get a better deodorant. If your deodorant makes you smell worse, it’s not the deodorant, it’s you. It starts with you. 

Winning is a great deodorant. I got a new stick of deodorant today. The instructions said: remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely! I wonder how fed up someone had to be to make deodorant. I am sick and tired of people thinking deodorant is optional. 

A bald spot is like a lie. The bigger it gets, the harder it is to cover it up. We seem to believe it is possible to ward off death by following rules of good grooming. The truth is that death is invegitable. At the very least you can delay it for a few more years before dying as a vegetable. Good things happen to those who groom. 

Grooming is ten times more important than makeup. Educational institutions which are grooming grounds for creating responsible citizens have to be kept tobacco and marijuana free. Good grooming is integral and impeccable style is a must. If you don’t look the part, no one will give you time or money. 

Grooming is the secret of real elegance. The best clothes, the most wonderful jewels, the most glamorous beauty don’t count without good grooming. Are you a baddie if you forget to flush every time you use the loo? It’s bad enough to know beautiful women fart, why are you smelling like yesterday?

Success favors the well groomed. Every man should have a magnifying mirror. If you look good magnified, you are set to go. Looking good isn’t self importance, it is self respect. You are your greatest asset. Put your time, effort and money into training, grooming and encouraging your greatest asset. And if at first you don’t succeed…

Keep trying until it kills you.

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