Lawyering Up

~ Gottfried

A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch. The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian (me) all the stupidity. Being a lawyer is easy. It’s flying like a bird, but you don’t have wings. 

Only lawyers and painters can turn white to black. A good lawyer is a bad neighbour. A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. If she has on reading glasses and stilettos; make that two hundred men with bazookas. 

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes she will even tell the truth (which goes against her second nature). If Moses had gone to Harvard Law School, he’d have written the Ten Commandments with three exceptions and a savings clause. 

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. When attorneys get married, they don’t say, “I do.” They say, “I accept the terms and conditions.” Going to trial with a lawyer who considers your whole lifestyle a crime in progress is not a happy prospect. Where there is a Will, there is a Lawyer.

If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers. A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present.” “You are the lawyer,” says the policeman. “Exactly, replies the lawyer. “So where is my present?”

There are no funny lawyers – only funny people who made a career mistake. When a lawyer tells jokes to a mixed audience, the lawyers don’t think they’re funny and the non-lawyers don’t think they are jokes. I put the lit in litigate. Lawyers argue for a living.

They’d do it for free too.

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

26 thoughts on “Lawyering Up”

  1. Ah Yes Mr Gottfried
    i Too Once Played
    The Role of the
    “Hall Monitor”

    At School and
    Work Making the
    Rules Enforcing The
    Rules Making Sure No

    One Broke the Law/Rules i Was
    Responsible to Uphold and Enforce then

    And Then one Day my Boss Said ‘Fred’
    Why Don’t You Just Break the Rules and
    Then Quickly ‘Recoiled’ With He Was Just Joking

    Yet Nope He Wasn’t the Real Difference Tween a
    Hero and a Villain Both Who Break the Norms of Rules

    To Accomplish
    DaSTuRDLY Rotten
    Orange Deeds to
    Callously Harm Folks

    In Hap-Hazard Ways

    And A Hero Who Saves the
    Vulnerable and Marginalized
    From Otherwise Demise Is Yes

    The Empathy And Compassion the
    Good of the LoVE iN Peace Giving
    Sharing Caring Healing All Others

    Lifting All Up Now
    Freely in Good Will

    With Most Respect
    Least Harm as Villains

    Practice the Other Way
    of Least Respect and
    Most Harm to All

    They Diss in
    Life Again
    And Again

    in Addictions of
    Fear Anger and Hate

    Ah Yes Entire Faux ‘Fox’
    News Villain Organizations
    Do ThiS too as Lies to Manipulate
    The Minions Among Us Naive and
    Uneducated plus Living in SCaRCiTiES
    of Socio-Economic Difficulties Looking for

    Some Kind
    Of ‘Big Daddy’
    They Will Never
    Measure Up Again
    to as Savior of Their
    Misery Loves Company

    In Endless Suffering
    Addicted to Fear Anger
    And Hate of ‘The Other’

    Ah Yes the Environment
    Ripe For Villains to Pick
    The Most Sour Grapes
    From Vines Wilting
    Down

    Down

    Down in
    ‘The Other Place
    Now’ Oh God Look
    At me Hehe “Coming in
    All This Glory” Judging
    ‘The World Again’ Just
    Following ‘The Example’
    And The Law Again With

    SMiLes

    Yep Law
    oF LoVE iN Peace
    For All And All of Nature Now

    So Nice Not to Have to Enforce it Now
    At This Point THeir Responsibility Not Mine

    With
    SMiLes…

    i’m Re-Tired
    Did my Time
    Killed Time It
    No Longer Exists
    Now iFly Free Without
    Wings FRiEnDS With Gravity

    ET

    Balancing All
    Center Point
    Existence Real
    NoW On TerresTrial

    Smooth Store Floors

    God Speed iNdeed Again

    iDance iSing iFree iAM iNDeeD iFly

    Wind
    iAm
    With A
    Dash of
    ‘Bruce Lee Water’…

    Yep LaW oF LoVE iN
    Peace Balancing Be
    the Water And WinD Without

    Fins
    or Wings Free…

    ThiS WaY The
    Birds Above and
    The Fish Below
    Do Not Precede
    me in Real Heaven WitHiN NeW NoW…

    According to ‘The Law’ At LEasT heHe..:)

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  7. This reminds me of when i was working as a personal assistant to a Barrister, their ways ain’t pure and they have no mercy except for money😁😅 but i love their costumes 😀😀

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