Myths versus Superstitions

Hitting your left leg (not your right) on a stone. It is generally seen as a sign of a bad omen and a warning to go back inside. If you’re not poor and have to trek, you probably never have this problem. Also, it doesn’t count if you intentionally hit your left leg on said stone. 

Whistling at night. If you whistle at night, it attracts snakes of all kinds. You’re perfectly safe if you restrict all your whistling to during the day time. The reason is that snakes don’t joke with their siesta, so they sleep during the day and only come out to hunt at night. So choose a good melody.

Crossing over one’s leg. Your ability to reproduce children suddenly ceases when someone crosses over your legs. The only way to break this spell is for the person to cross it back. If the person crosses twice, you have to make them add a bit of hopping and skipping as well. 

Itchy hands. If your hands suddenly start to itch, it means money or some good fortune is coming. I have confirmed it myself. During the holidays in December, as soon as my palms started to itch, I would know that my uncle was in the living room counting money in readiness to dash me.

Hitting a man with a broom. Apart from it being painful, you can also make them impotent, unless they hit back. The gag is that they have to hit you twice as hard to ensure that they stamp out the impotence completely. It’s also a common effective birth control method these days. 

Bending over to look through your legs if you want to see witches. Initially when you try this, you’ll only see normal people appear upside down, because of the position you’re looking from. But as soon as you squint a bit with your left eye, Lucifer Morningstar will appear!

Eating from the ground. Never mind the three-second-rule, as soon as your food touches the ground, the devil takes a bite. And you can empathize with the devil because she’s usually very hungry and never misses a chance for a good snack. That’s all she’s allowed. 

Answering a ghost’s call. If you hear your name in the dark and answer without seeing the caller, you’ve answered a ghost’s call. As you should. The last ghost I had a chat with spoke at length about how lonesome it gets just hiding there in the dark, calling to people. 

Seeds will grow a tree in your stomach. Parents should stop warning children that swallowing the seeds of fruits like mangoes or oranges would lead to a tree sprouting inside their belly. There’s world hunger coupled with a vitamin deficiency, we need all the help we can get.

First customer credit policy. I have zero credit policy myself and I think it’s a bad look for the first customer of the day to buy on credit. Of course the rest of the customers that day will buy on credit, because the first customer is a gossip who told everyone about our little credit secret. 

Sitting on a mortar prevents marriage. I finally traced your problem with getting married. As a young girl, you were often told not to sit on a mortar, as doing so would prevent you from getting married. Did you listen? No! Now you’re wondering why you can’t have kids.

Of course you believe me. You don’t have a choice.

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