Going to War

The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his. Join the army, see the world, find interesting people and kill them. Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt. 

God created war so that Americans will learn geography. I can’t tell you what weapons World War III will be fought with, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. All humor is based on hostility. That’s why World War II was funny until the nuclear bomb took all fun out. 

World War III will be caused by the “last seen” feature of WhatsApp. Time is everything, five minutes could well be the difference between victory and defeat. War will not determine who is right, only who is left. No catalogue of horrors will ever keep men from war. 

There’s no honorable way to kill. No gentle way to destroy. There’s nothing good about war except its ending. War might be evil, but it is quite often the lesser evil. It’s only in the war of marriage that you get to sleep with the enemy, and resume fighting afterwards.

If you don’t know what you’re doing, the enemy will never know. The first rule of marine warfare is that you should only bring artillery if you want to kill everyone. Warfare is based on deception. When we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away. 

When we are far away, we must make the enemy believe we are near. Love is like war, super easy to start but difficult to stop. All war is a symptom of man’s failure as a thinking animal. And lastly, war is only delightful to those who have never had experience of it.

Stay strapped or get clapped. 

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved