Safety

~ Gottfried

Drive carefully. 90% of all people are caused by accidents. Good girls are found in every corner of the earth. But unfortunately, the earth is round. Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you’ll need. Better to be safe than to be sober. 

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces. If you’re on the heavy side, all you need is passion. Why do we feel safe under a blanket? It’s not like a murderer will come in thinking “I’m gonna kil…-ah damn!” He’s under a blanket. Toes getting chopped off though. 

Does anyone else put things in a safe place and then forget where the safe place is? Your secrets are safe with me because there is a good chance I wasn’t even listening to begin with. When is a pool safe for diving? Well, it deep ends.

When safety is first, you last. People say “Have a safe flight.” Like. Yep. I’ll do my best not I’m literally just in row 22 with a sandwich and cheesecake and no control over the plane! On a trip where I need about 4 outfits. I’ve packed 35 just to be safe.  

If safety is a joke then death is the punchline. I failed the Health and Safety course at work today. One of the questions was: “In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?” “Big ones” was apparently the wrong answer. My safe word is “harder!” 

Your safety brief for this week. Don’t add to the population. Don’t subtract from the population. Stay out of the hospital, the newspaper and jail. If you do end up in jail, establish dominance quickly. To feel safe at night, sleep with a nurse. 

I hear it works wonders!

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

23 thoughts on “Safety”

  2. True Mr Gottfried Driving is A Most Dangerous
    Activity Most Humans Engage in Every Day

    Even Texting Their Way into Tunnels

    Where the Light at the Other

    End is a Train for

    Real Watching

    The Prey of Phone

    And Missing the

    Locomotive Lion
    As Metal Predator coming THeir Way

    Yet It’s True Folks Still Carry on ThiS Way

    With No
    Concerns
    About Big
    Bangs Ending Life

    On the Other Hand They
    Worry Constantly About the Price

    of Gas as Sadly A Substantial Number
    of Folks Even Making Over A Quarter of a
    Million Dollars a Year Live Pay Check to Pay Check

    (Of Course Only In the United States Hehe

    Sort of Like the ‘Florida Man Meme’

    Yet Nationwide Not Excluding

    All the Other Possible

    Genders too)

    Inflation
    of Keeping
    Up With All
    the Smiths’ And Jones’

    On Social Media Hehe

    As In All Stuff Life Balance is
    Necessary No Freedom Without

    Safety No Safety Without Freedom

    Ride the
    Wave

    And
    Don’t Fall Off

    Balancing Act
    it All is

    With
    SMiLes
    at least to me..:)

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

      1. “Drive angry!😤”

        Hehe Not the ‘Wu Wei’
        Way of the ‘Hybrid’ Mr Gottfried

        Yet True in a Way When i Practice
        Balance of Driving in my Hybrid CRV

        Driving So Smoothly
        As Electric Power
        Silently Takes

        Over any
        Push for
        Dino-Fuel

        Ah Yes Occasionally
        Those Addicted to the
        Adrenaline and Dopamine
        That Comes From Fear Anger

        And Just Plain Old Impatience

        And Hate Rev their Engines Behind

        me Just Throwing Away Left-Overs

        From Dinosaurs Like a Thanksgiving Bird Hehe

        Meanwhile
        Peace Reigns
        Supreme Love Springs

        From No Gas Fumes
        At All From Hybrid

        Supremacy

        Free As
        Battery
        Powered comes to

        be until the Lithium
        Power Goes Dead and

        Somewhat of a Catchup on
        What’s Saved in Thousands
        For a Fancy New Battery

        Yet the Way i Drive

        it’ll probably

        last me the
        rest of my Life

        With SMiLes as
        Balance Wins Now and Then..:)

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

          1. “I like to allow the car pick up pace
            by Itself” Indeed Mr Gottfried That’s
            What We Call “Cruise Control” Over

            Here in the United States Similar

            To When Move Becomes Repose

            And Repose Becomes Move in Public

            Dance Effortless in Ease Using a 250 Pound
            Human Body

            In Balance

            To Carry that
            Dance at Amazing
            Speeds in Spiraling
            Ways Light as Finger Tips to

            Guide the Human Ship
            Just Sailing Freely

            on Smooth

            Store
            Dance
            Floors

            While the Consumer
            Crowd Does Its Thing too Hehe

            A Most Amazing pART Now of This
            Human Cruise Control And Hybrid
            Ability to Use So Very Little Human

            Fuel to Move It Facilitates Free A Whole
            Literal Marathon of Dance in 8 Hours of
            Balance in Effortless Ease Without even

            A Heavy Breath And Just As Fueled With
            Little Fuel As The End of Dance is Still the

            Beginning
            As Energetic
            As the Start With SMiLes

            True Though it Took Many
            Years to Achieve Cruise Control
            And Human Fueled Hybrid Abilities

            iN Dance

            For
            Real…

            Other Than
            Really Cool Blue
            Athletic Shoes it Doesn’t
            Cost A Penny Other than the Food

            At the

            Mall to
            Achieve
            Daily FLiGHT Free
            Occasionally my Wife Cooks too..:)

            Like

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