I woke up several rainy seasons ago to the song “to God be the glory” and guess who’s voice was loudest. Yeah, you guessed right, dad. I’m starting a series of memoirs which would also serve as a memento to immortalize individuals that have thus far left a mark in my life, beginning with this post. The voice was high pitched so it was a tad confusing. Were they two women singing? Did I have two moms?
Planning. When he asks this question, “What is your program for the day?” Your best bet is to have a ready thought out answer. Because if you didn’t, bear in mind that he’s already planned your own day out for you. And I’m willing to bet you wouldn’t like the plan one bit. It will involve greeting the elderly and accompanying him to the bank. If you’re lucky though, you get a treat, so it’s not all bad.
Baggage. If you know Emmanuel, you know he doesn’t travel light. This one time we took a road trip which was to last about three days, tops. I packed a single bag pack. I came back in to pick his luggage and there in front of me were two suitcases, one toilet bag, several nylon bags, a survival kit, a first aid box, a bottle of groundnut, a box of tissues, a shoe rack and a pack of bottles of water. I had to ask if we were relocating.
He is a huge fan of academics. Left to him, every single one of us children would be professors by his estimation. Even as a little boy I was already paying my dues of sleepless nights. This one time he decreed that during the holidays we had to put in on the average four hours daily for study. Four hours! Best believe we read a grand total of thirty minutes daily and spent the rest looking out for him.
Discipline. My dad is big on discipline. As a clergyman, he believed the rod of correction wasn’t to be spared on his children. He is particular about this very task. Offences attract a certain measure of punishment. If you tell a lie, you’ve earned yourself six strokes of the cane. If you steal something, you earn yourself twelve strokes of the cane. Imagine lying about stealing. You gotta find a new home to take you in. But of course, honesty is celebrated.
Destruction. The rule in the house is, if you destroy something, you replace it. I was in the habit of breaking wine glasses and China. And guess who was charged with the responsibility of doing the dishes? Me, that’s who. So being fully aware that I can be really careless with handling, the decision of the house was to ensure all I do was handle China. Talk about setting me up to fail!
I do love this man to death. He’s a very willing learner. I convinced him to not rebroadcast any WhatsApp message without checking with me and he totally agreed. Typically those “If you don’t share this message, your son will become a Justin Beiber fan” type. We also have a fancy handshake which honestly is really smooth. He’s hacked this parenting thing and set the bar so high. I’m definitely going to do my best, to preserve the legacy of the man who’s responsible for all this greatness.