On The Highway Of Love

February 25, 2019October 17, 2020 ~ Gottfried

Based on real-life events. So a guy pays a lady’s bus fare on the bus I’m on. From where I’m seated, they both look like they’re in their mid-thirties (you know that age where midlife crisis is about to hit). They start a conversation, the lady I guess is chuckling but I can’t hear a thing because I have earphones plugged in and it’s wrong to eavesdrop, but I have big ears so it’s no brainer.

The lovebirds are talking through a messenger app on their mobile phones totally oblivious of me who is currently documenting the entire ordeal. I mean, they are literally typing out messages on their phones and showing to each other. I can’t deal!

The lady types into her phone “because you paid my bus fare, here’s my number” and shows to the guy with her number accompanying the message, the guy responds by typing into his own phone and showing to her, the text reads “why would you even say that?”. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a proper gentleman in the house!

As you’d suspect, I copied the number into my address book, the plan is to add her contact on WhatsApp, so that I can share this post with her. Can’t possibly blame me now, can you?

It’s hilarious that immediately after she was rejected, she immediately opened “nairaland” (an online gist forum) to drown out her sorrows. Like a woman scorned, she’s holding it in with a wry smile on her face. My condolences!

Wait a minute, hold up a second! She just caught me typing all of this! I can’t tell if I’m in trouble yet…

All clear guys! False alarm. At the moment, she’s reading about the new Samsung model she can’t afford, to be fair I can’t afford it either, probably same goes for everyone on the bus, except the driver, the man looks like he’s driving as a hobby.

Oh! hold on, she’s trying to finesse him by showing him photos of a celebrity couple sharing throwback photos of themselves. A glimpse into the future, she thinks. “Show him all the good stuff he’s missing out on” her spirit ministers. He laughs and turns his face back to the road. 2-0

The dude beside me is sleeping and nodding imaginary balls with sublime accuracy. He makes prime Rudd Van Nisteroy look a pretender the way he’s placing these headers. I notice his phone is about to drop but why bother to wake him up, when I can relax and watch him panic after the eventual fall?

It’s a pretty uneventful ride from there on out. She keeps stealing hopeful glances at him, probably to confirm if he’s indeed blind to love and this is all a charade.

We get to the bus stop, we all disembark. I’m in a haste, I want to see what happens next.

I watch as he waves her goodbye and crosses to the other side of the road. The look on her face is priceless. Telemundo sold her a pipe dream. I suddenly feel my pockets, my change! I forgot to collect change from the conductor. How do I get home now? I need to catch another bus!

Congratulations, you played yourself.