Unraveling The Mysteries Behind Women

I want to expressly say that the headline may have been a bit misleading, no two women are the same, but they all suffer a varying degree of indecisiveness, which if unchecked, can cause them to spiral out of control. Here’s what you really need to know.

When she says yes, she actually means no, and when she says no she means yes. Do you copy? For example, if she says, “leave me alone” go away! do exactly that. Don’t allow her to draw you into her confusion. If possible, stay a good 100-meter radius away from her like it’s a restraining order.

Don’t hype her pictures, they hate that. If she posts fire selfies, please for the love of all thing’s bright and beautiful, ignore. Even if there’s an overwhelming urge to send love emoticons, resist and throw the phone away. If she asks, don’t tell her she’s cute, apparently, only dogs can be cute.

Avoid complimenting her. If she gets her hair done, ask her if she could still get a refund. If she buys a new outfit, buy a matching one and steal her shine. Do not let her win. After all, they don’t care about the little things. Right?

Don’t check up on her, she’s not a toddler. Unlike infants and pets, women hate that you keep them under the illusion that they can’t handle themselves. If they can bath, eat, and poop without you, what’s the point of making those incessant calls? Save the airtime for calling your bookie.

Never go out of your way to do something nice. Look, a lady loves a man that’s able to keep the strings on his expenses. If she’s been jumping buses to work, let her have fun. She enjoys exercise. Do not buy her the Benz!

Women hate surprises. Surprise dinners, dates, trips to foreign resorts are a no-no. Do not show up at her workplace with chocolate and flowers? That’s the corny shit that she teases her coworkers about. She’s a strong independent woman, and she wants it to stay that way. Like the women of owu.

Women love silence. Whatever you’re going through in your personal life, do not (and I cannot stress it enough) share with them. They are not particularly interested. All they crave is peace and quiet. And while you’re at it, try not to use too much oxygen at regular intervals, save some for her.

When you’ve mastered the art of all that is contained in this post, you’ve officially hacked women. Ladies will absolutely love you and won’t stop coming after you. Or…Or hear me out, you could die a hermit!

Fine margins ey?

ยฉ Gottfried. All rights reserved.


226 thoughts on “Unraveling The Mysteries Behind Women

  1. ROTFL! What women have you been talking to? She doesn’t like flowers, compliments, nor surprises [I mean good surprises] I supposed she doesn’t diamonds and gold either. Now, I’m confused. Maybe I missed that memo where you are supposed to be unable to say what you mean and mean what you say.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Never go out of your way to do something nice.” “Women hate surprises.” Are you really saying what you are saying? There must be a misunderstanding somewhere. Or I can only guess that she’s trying to save every penny to pay off your mortgage and this is her way of trying to help your family buy that house by sacrificing all her personal pleasures.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.