Choosing his weapon carefully, he delicately carves out a piece for himself. On exiting, there’s no room for error. But as with all expertly crafted heists, disaster strikes! He slips on a wet patch of floor and hits a tray of cutlery. There’s a loud bang, alerting the entire household. And that’s how Chike became homeless.
Too dark. We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy is when men are afraid of the light. Black is beautiful, till it’s time to hire a front desk assistant in a reputable company in West Africa. I think the permanent bias towards “light skinned” people is unreal. Is the black too black for you? If they had the decency to say it as it is.
HR: I’m sorry we can’t employ you, we’re looking for a particular shade of black and well, you’re not it.
Applicant: I appreciate your honesty, but this is bull shit! (continues swearing till security comes)
Mosquitoes. As soon as it’s dark, they take centre stage. Interesting that even among mosquitoes, only one gender is responsible for malaria. I believe that people wouldn’t mind it as such if all they did was just suck the blood and fly off. Why do they have to play a classical piece backwards first? Beethoven? No! more like Bite-oven! You don’t fully comprehend the damage mosquitoes do unless you’re AA genotype. They can even take a chunk off your forehead for good measure. Love bites.
Thieves. The number one rule of thieves is that nothing is too small to steal. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind having thieves over at the house every now and then. The hunger in the land is great. I read a story of someone they got mugged off. The thieves broke in, warmed dinner and helped themselves to several plates, before making away with what was left of the leftovers. In such a scenario, there’s absolutely no reason to call the police. Think of it as a service to your community. Charity.
Ghosts come out to play. During the day i don’t believe in ghosts. At night, I’m a bit more open minded. I think ghosts are cowards. Why wait till I’m so tired from the days activities before coming to test my insecurities? If you were such a badass, you’d fight me at my strongest. See you at 9am, I need to sleep! Ghosts can’t even stand a lit candle! So the next time you feel a ghost creeping up on you, whisper under your breath…