The (B)Lame Game

I blame myself for having nut cases for friends. Every single one of my friends is challenged one way or the other (yes even you). Even in a bit of a crisis situation, the ingrained foolishness still shines through.

Gottfried: Shit, I just lost my wallet!

Gregg: Ah that sucks man, you’re still buying me lunch though right?💀

Gottfried: Are you under a spell? 😑

Gregg: You should have been careful with the wallet, look what you’re doing to us!

Gottfried: 😯

House hunting for a friend. I hit up Matthew, who lives in a rented apartment in a choice location with a plethora of options.

Gottfried: Hi Matthew, I’m calling about your estate, are there still any unoccupied flats?

Matthew: No man, sadly every one of them is occupied. I’m toying with the idea of leaving though, maybe in a few months…

Gottfried: Ah I see. Well, he’ll be needing it in three months, so can he have yours?

Matthew: Err, you see, my rents due in two months, after which I’ll get hit with a three-month eviction notice. So I’ll stay the three months before moving out…💀

Gottfried: What!!! Remind me again, how are we friends? 😭😭

“I married an ugly man that’s why my child is retarded”. First of all, if you didn’t marry your cousin, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Besides what does beauty have to do with IQ? Haha but still, even if you do end up marrying a handsome man and there is a strain of ugliness encoded in your DNA, the kids won’t be safe. Just look at that forehead, now your kids can’t find face caps that fit.

The wind. A football coach once blamed the wind for the shortcomings of his team. Not fitness, shoddy tactics, or team mentality, but the freaking wind? What in the tarnation? Almost equivalent to me saying that if it wasn’t for my having to actually spend money, who knows? Maybe I’d be as wealthy as my good friend Warren (surname describes a table of food). A friend once blamed his loss in a FIFA game to the team jersey being too heavy on his players. “It affected their pace”

Take me back to the era of parents choosing spouses for their children. A lady was giving her take on marriage at a function. In the submission, she disclosed that her parents chose her life partner on her behalf. Sitting there in the audience and listening, I think to myself, “well at least it turned out okay, right?”. Just as the thought pops up, she goes, “Thank God they chose for me because I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself for choosing this useless man” 💀

People try to blame the devil for things he had absolutely no part in. You thought it okay to pee in someone else’s backyard? But you get mad when women say “all men are dogs”. Bingo. Sadly, people will blame everyone but themselves. Accepting blame is a rarity. Deep down though, you know that the one individual at fault for every situation you find yourself in…

is Adam

© Gottfried. All rights reserved.

176 thoughts on “The (B)Lame Game

  1. Oh I love the blamers they can keep me amused and amazed for months on end.

    Best ones ever are those that blame their entire staff and state the reason things are going tits up and the place failing is because of their employees. The ones they hired and are responsible for ensuring have adequate training, supervision and know how to do their jobs… but that’s not important to them cos it’s upset the narrative and they’re too concerned with just blaming them.


    People that blame their dogs for not being trained. The dogs are entirely to blame for having not been born full trained and able to understand what’s expected and they are an absolute disgrace to the species.


    Parents that blame music, video games or movies for how their kids turn out. If your kid ends up torturing rabbits, setting fire to local cats and bombing his or her school that’s one the parents aren’t necessarily to blame for i.e. the kid could have serious and very real problems but it’s sure as shit their responsibility to spot something isn’t quite right with little Timmy from when he first starts to present with behavioural issues. If your kid is throwing hedgehogs onto a garden bonfire like a baked potato, it’s probably not wise to go right for waging war on anyone.

    Take action and stop little Timmy roasting any more hogs, get actual help – professional I mean not just from some tit on Facebook and then ask yourself when and how you can go about blaming Canada… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

      1. He’s roasting hedgehogs because he’s not a full set and his parents never noticed when he first started shoving sticks up their arse with a marshmallow when he was 5yrs old. Never noticed because they were too busy blaming the gay summer camp leader for potentially causing gayness amongst the children and promoting even more gayness which encourages an endless cycle of gay people signing up to work as summer camp leaders.

        They come in spreading the gayness like the same wildfire little Timmy has been having a great time with freely enjoying and using to set fire to cats and hedgehogs.

        But at least he’s not gay… cos you know that’s far worse and a bigger finger of blame to be worried about then a child that tortures and sets fire to animals.

        Timmy might not just just set fire to animals he’ll maybe grow up to suck more dick than anyone in history. Parents “See?? SEE I KNEW THAT GAY CAMP LEADER WOULD SPREAD THE GAYNESS IT’S HIS FAULT TIMMY SUCKS SO MUCH DICK!!!!!”

        😂 😂 😂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m being facetious (hope that’s obvious anyway) but there really are parents whose sole concern is with things like what the PTA meeting had for snacks, the sexuality of whoever is running the out of school clubs, how impressive they and their kids come across to other kids and parents and which of the married PTA members they wanna shag next.

        Spend so much time, effort and expense on this kinda crap they really have no idea what their kids are doing, who they are and what they might be going through. If and when it turns out they are going through a rough time with whatever, you can guarantee they’ll prick their ears and immediately want to know who did this, why teachers or whoever didn’t pick up their anxieties and problems sooner and start blaming everyone else for having not noticed their child was unhappy and taken action sooner rather than feel bad for being too busy trying to shag that good looking single Dad on the PTA all the women want to shag as well.

        It’s really sad when parents and their kids have this enormous distance keeping them from ever being friends or realising they can be until it’s way too late.

        My daughter’s friend Emma has THE most stereotypical Chinese Mother I’m not kidding. So full on it’s funny but in the same breath it’s not cos that poor girl doesn’t know whether to shit, shave or shower. She’s always wrong, always getting yelled at for being so fat and wasting her time at Uni when she could be getting married.

        When things go wrong in Emma”s life or she hits a rough patch her Mum turns mega protective and does everything she thinks she should but I wonder if even then she’s telling Emma things are bad for her now because… well because she’s fat and needs to find a husband 😂😂😂😂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I love that Emma isn’t backing down or letting her Mum wear her out so she gives in, goes home and marries a sex offender her mum said was a perfect husband cos he was born under a postbox in Brixton or some daftness. She does know her mum dotes on her but it’s a generational / cultural thing where you marry a rich guy.

        Hannah is studying Chinese linguistics and all being well should have placement for few months in Hong Kong early 2022. We planned to fly out there with her anyway but Emma is getting tickets for same flight and going too.

        If those two board that flight to Hong Kong I’m not sure Emma will go home but I am so relieved we might not need to fly out.

        Goddammit they eat some shite 😦

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Takes a lot to try to chart a different course from the one your parents already earmarked for you. Hoping she has all the willpower to succeed.

        Haha, a breath of fresh air would do her a world of good

        Liked by 2 people

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