How Nice Is Too Nice?

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I’m probably top 2 nicest people you’ll ever meet and I’m not number two. For some people, they imagine that being extra nice is the best manner of approach. You have people begin sentences with;

Please don’t be offended oh, I just want to…

Wait a minute! Why are you instructing me to not be offended? What did you do? In fact, I’m already offended! What’s your problem?

Feigned niceness. Some of the niceties stem from a huge cultural indoctrination. People have been taught that being nice is a sign of respect reserved only for the elderly. Worse still, half the time, they don’t even mean it. How else can an individual say?

With all due respect sir, I think you’re one of the dumbest individuals I’ve come across in my twenty rainy seasons here on earth

Not nice. Some people have mastered the art of not giving anything away even at your worst.

Excuse me but did you unplug my phone at 5% charge to plug in yours that’s on 99%? What happened to home training?

Wait a minute! it’s not even your charger!

Worse still, I once had an examination to write and in my haste, I forgot to take a pen to the examination hall.

Gottfried: Mac, can you lend me a pen, I see you have two and I don’t have any!

Mac: What if one of them runs out midway into the paper, what would I use?

Gottfried: Well it hasn’t happened yet!

Mac: Nope

Too nice. My dad has a knack for giving things away to charity almost at the expense of us his children. I’ve lost quite the number of items of clothing through this initiative. Talking about you’ve been enjoying it for all these years and there are some children that have never had full cream powdered milk.

I once visited an inn and at midnight I woke up to the cold air on my skin. I knocked on the innkeeper’s door to ask for an item to keep me warm.

Gottfried: Hi there, I’m a bit cold, got anything I could use?

Inn keeper: There, you can have my wife!

Gottfried: Woah! Slow down cowboy, I want something inanimate that wouldn’t try to strangle me in my sleep thanks!

Inn keeper: (begrudgingly hands me a blanket)

I hear stories like this are common in the Netherlands. As bizarre as this sounds, remember that Lot from the good book was willing to hand over his virgin daughters to an angry mob in place of strangers he just met. I imagine dinner was hectic for everybody that night.

Ultimately the key is to be able to strike the balance between being not approachable and being too nice. Don’t be so nice that people walk all over you. And don’t be so stern people literally scream and run at the sight of you. So the next time your mom shouts at you, serve her a cup of iced tea, smile, whisper in her ear…

watch your back

And walk away.

Gottfried

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156 comments

  1. Excellent post, Gottfried! It seems to be nice is becoming a lost art. Being too nice can be considered insincere. Those that are sincerely too nice get taken advantage of. Finding balance is key! Thank you for following BrewNSpew.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Aha!
    You see that “don’t be offended line” has been causing problem.

    It’s like saying “I’m about to offend you, prepare your heart.” But then, they’re giving you heads up which is really nice.

    Nice write up Gottfried.
    We’ll talk about the last two lines another day. πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I know for a fact that i am neither both, it depends tho but my “not nice” side flow more than my nice side but at the end of it all it still depends on the circumstance. For the last part i know my mum will do all night vigil on my behalf, i can bet it hahaha

    Liked by 2 people

  4. one can’t be too nice however, being too nice could be mistaken for weakness. In a cruel world like ours, we have to be nice and also know when to be nice.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Very weird but true. Nice piece. The last sentence though can be disastrous, you know. Being too nice can allow people play on your intelligence.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Nice write up, I will try to set the balance between being too nice and being nice, cos I usually find myself in the category of the former. πŸ‘

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Loved this post. You’ve hit the nail on the head about “nice”ness. I know people who are so nice to me it makes me want to hit them. Yikes! Where did that come from? I hate phoney niceness. Those examples you gave about the people who won’t share when you’re in need and they have so much, are right on the mark. Who raised those people to be like that? I can’t lend you one of my two because I need a spare. Awful! But those people are out there.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. When it’s insincere, it’s an insult to be treated with this fake nice stuff. The person who does this to me most is not salvageable. She can’t help herself. She thinks it works and that she’s fooling everyone. Oh well, as long as I know what her game is, I can defend myself.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. When I was much younger, I was poised to please just about anybody I could see. I wanted to be “the nice guy” to everyone. I wanted to put a smile on the faces of anybody that came my way. But not anymore… Why? Because I have found out that you can’t please everybody at the same time. What do I do now… Just live my life, If I am touched to be nice to you, you are lucky, but if not… Take am like that.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Still struggling with being too nice, even though I’m very unapproachable… The last bit about whispering in my mum’s ears killed me πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚..
    Amazing piece as always!!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. If you are nice, you will be hated by your standby haters. If you are mean, you will be hated by your standby haters. In other news you can’t avoid having haters no matter what.

    So therefore, be yourself fully but let love and care for others be the underlying vibe in everything that you do. Like he’s rightly said #balance is the key!

    Liked by 3 people

  11. So the next time your mom shouts at you, serve her a cup of iced tea, smile, whisper in her ear…

    watch your back

    And walk away.

    In an african home:
    Mom: Is like you have found another house to live in abi
    πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Nice write up bro. But someone once said that on the average, Nigerians are aggressive people so you gotta persuade them first before making a request or statement, lol… And that last part, just when I thought you were going to end on a serious note, boom, my hand fell againπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 2 people

  13. “With all due respect sir, I think you’re one of the dumbest individuals I’ve come across in my twenty rainy seasons here on earth” This is what they call a polite Insult…..πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 3 people

  14. Hahaha…
    Mom, watch your back…
    Son, is that a threat? Cause you’re gonna end up staring at yours while I moderate it. Get the hell outta here before I give you no back to watch…I’m no too nice mom…you can’t trample on me.
    Or better still just take a walk of no return.

    Liked by 3 people

  15. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Enjoyed a lot reading it. Well you said the right fact.πŸ˜‰ Too nice is obviously not respectful And you explained it with your touch of humour. Enjoyed all the examples. and At the end πŸ˜‰πŸ˜ Well done πŸ‘ Good Tips Gottfried πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 2 people

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