Make It Make Sense

~ Gottfried

There are things we’ve seemingly normalized in today’s society and we need to address a few of them because, why not? “The best things in life are free”. No, they’re not!

“I always tell people”. First of all, you don’t always tell me, as a matter of fact, you’ve never told me. Do I look like the people you’ve been telling? There’s no way on God’s green earth you’d tell me stuff like you shit your pants in high school and I’d forget. Absolutely-not-happening!

When people act like they don’t hear you the first time you speak to them, so you have to repeat yourself? Is this a joke to you?

Gottfried: What happened to the cornflakes?

Bayo: Huh!

Gottfried: You heard me!

Bayo: Oh! the cornflakes

Gottfried: No…the corned beef

It’s really rich of you to call out people that think the earth is flat on their stupidity. I’m not saying they aren’t, I’m just saying let people believe in whatever makes them happy. Like Santa Claus, the tooth fairy and peter pan. The earth is flat! No, you say, it’s spherical! It’s also rotating, but can you feel it move? But you believe regardless? Sheep.

People that get upset when you don’t recognize them.

Random old lady: Gottfried! Gottfried!

Gottfried: Err…hi

Random old lady: Gottfried! (Tugs at my cheeks) You don’t recognize me again

Gottfried: Nope

Random old lady: But…but I carried you when you were just a baby…

Gottfried: (Under my breath) No shit Sherlock Holmes, you haven’t aged a day!

When you remove a tick from a dog, you have to show it to the dog? The same happens with humans, but the saying is curiosity killed the cat? Some believe cats are reincarnations of dead grandmothers and I’m inclined to agree. I’m all for having dogs and cats as pets but I can’t quite wrap my head around having a pet hen. You mean we’re just going to allow you pamper some chicken wings? Hot sauce on it.

The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. Simply because you don’t have evidence that something does exist does not mean you have evidence of something that doesn’t exist. What I’m saying is that there are known knowns and that there are known unknowns. But there are also unknown unknowns; things we don’t know that we don’t know. For instance, you don’t know that you don’t know, you don’t have sense. And that’s facts.

As you keep roaming this planet, it’s pertinent that you search for your one true purpose. Don’t waste all your time trying to become the CEO of a Fortune 500 company when your destiny is to be a groundsman. No debating who lived a more rewarding life...

CEO of course

© Gottfried. All rights reserved.

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194 thoughts on “Make It Make Sense”

      1. Having a rewarding life does not necessarily mean having abundance of money…
        Rewarding means. Providing satisfaction:.. gratifying…

        And most logically..
        ground man is a job with a paycheck….

        And some people find any rewarding because it does what it supposed to…

        It’s a living.. and some of us make the best of who they are…

        While the ceo.. might be living well above his needs.. because he thinks he has it to burn…

        So he might not be feeling too rewarding

        Liked by 1 person

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  5. The whole ripping on flat earthers, anti-vaxxers, religious people – it’s annoying as shit but it does mean we get a quick pocket guide heads up on which people to not bother wasting our time and energy with.

    Aggressive atheists piss me off most though there’s just no need. Why is it so important to them what someone else believes? It’s not affecting them it’s not causing them a problem and if they weren’t such pricks they would barely know who is religious and who isn’t but they go searching for it.

    I posted a comment on a YouTube music video I love a few months ago with just “I’m sure this is what Heaven sounds like” and straight away someone replied “You are wrong there is no such thing as Heaven”

    WTF?! I just replied “OK” and that drove them nuts. They did everything to goad and provoke and I just wondered what kind of life someone like that must have.

    The whole “I didn’t hear you” is up there with the stupid questions.

    “Have you seen my phone anywhere?
    “Erm.. no what does it look like?”
    “Like two horses fucking – A PHONE. IT LOOKS LIKE A PHONE!”

    “I’m not being horrible / racist / sexist but (insert horrible, racist, sexist comment here) is one that has been in heavy use for a while and it really irks me.

    Also have a real problem with people starting a sentence with “So..” I don’t know why or where it came from but I hear it a lot and it pisses me off.

    I get very irritable (you may not have guessed) and have a problem with people that can’t answer a simple question with the simple answer it needs.

    “Did you manage you get that form sent off in the post?”
    “Well it’s a funny story but -”

    “Bup -Bup I didn’t ask for a funny story. Did you get the form sent? Yes or No”

    Even if I can allow for more than just yes or no, I still remind them their story had better be funny if they’re gonna waste my time having to listen to it.

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Haha, I enjoyed reading this entire comment. Thank you for giving back a little 😂.

      I think atheists just try to goad people on the internet.

      People really don’t make any effort with story telling 😂

      Liked by 2 people

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      1. “People really don’t make any effort with story telling”

        People don’t make effort at all online not even trolling is done well nowadays. I was an original troll back in the day of dial up, chat rooms and Yahoo Answers.

        Best answer ever was in response to “How can I tell if my son is gay? Is there a test or something you can buy?”

        “Yes – very simple test you can do at home. Take some vinegar and baking soda then make a clay volcano and wait for it to erupt. If your son is too busy sucking a dick he’s gay”

        Oh God I died laughing that kept me going for days.

        Liked by 1 person

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          1. Honest I used to sit in the front room and die laughing – absolutely howling and Mark would shout from other room “Go on… who are you bugging now?” 😂😂😂

            Liked by 1 person

          3. Oh I just remembered this – last thing I promise.

            I used a chat room that was also like Yahoo answers and regularly almost routinely got kicked by the admins for being a pain in the arse. Didn’t do anything really bad just irked and irritated and behaved like an immature child.

            Someone asked “I had a poop but it had green coloured sweetcorn what does this mean?”
            Me – “Means you’ve been eating peas” (Kicked)

            Then fastest ever record time for me getting booted was when I created a new handle and the screen / room said “God’s big sister has joined chat” -Kicked)

            I didn’t even post a thing but they knew from my handle it was me 😂😂😂

            Liked by 1 person

          4. Haha, this is me on group chats on WhatsApp.

            One time I was added, I begged the admin to make me an admin. When he did I started out kicking out people that were easily offended. 😂😂😂😂

            Liked by 2 people

  8. What? You mean we have one true purpose?? Geesh, I don’t have much time left to find mine…
    I have a cat, his name is CAT and he is 20 years old and still kicking. He does kind of remind me of my grandmother because she got really old and was still kicking. I’m laughing about having a hen as a pet. I have a friend who had a hen as a pet. When it got cold she would bring it into her house in a cage. She fed the hen better than she fed herself. When it died she was inconsolable. I painted the hen’s portrait and sent it to her so she could pretend the hen was still there 🙄🙃

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  9. I really like when they say to me: “Did you see? I told you so …”. as well as assuming that I am synaesthetic, but I was often not told! and no, I don’t see, I don’t see what you didn’t tell me. 😎

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