The Weight Of Expectation

When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are. Sometimes I wonder if I’m nothing more than the sum of who [my parents] were. I like to imagine I took only their excellent character traits and left out all the excesses, but as time continues to pass, I realize I may have not been paying attention.

These days I’ve evolved. Look. I have a strategy. Why expect anything? If you don’t expect anything, you don’t get disappointed. My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus. 10/10 would definitely recommend it.

Pregnancy. I understand that you’re expecting a baby but is that really an excuse to ask for lamb chops at 2 am? Who made the request, you or the baby? Fellas we need to stop these women from harassing us.

This one time I was at the hospital and this dude walks up to a pregnant woman and goes, “what are you pregnant for?” Her response is gold. She goes, “hopefully it turns out to be a human baby but if it’s a turtle, I’ll take it” I let out a howl!

The job seeker. Employers want fresh graduates who graduated cum laude, are below 24 years, with five years’ experience in the relevant field? Is it crack?

It doesn’t help that the mail you sent to your recruiter says “find attached a copy of my Cover letter and Resumé” but neither are attached. But let’s blame the internet service providers or the henny?

The farmer. So you just planted crops. It spans an expanse of land. You spend every waking moment plotting what will be done with the proceeds you’ll make. Wedding plans are set in motion. Money really is the best perfume, it’s no longer an uphill task to find “the one”, right?

The spinster. Your farmer fiance is finally doing right by you. Wedding plans are going well. Then lightning strikes twice and rain washes away his crops. Do you go ahead with the wedding? Surely you’re not calling it off for that minor setback. The wedding guests will have to make do with small chops, okay?

The student. Being a medical student has taken its toll on you. Holding your breath before every result comes out. You must not disgrace the family. You’re the one child everyone expects to succeed but you suddenly start second-guessing yourself. Is medicine really your passion?

Parenting. Over a decade worth of school fees. This son, I beg your pardon, investment, this investment has to pay off. But it’s all good, you’re about to be called the father of a doctor. Bragging rights will be off the charts. Then you receive a curious call.

“Hello Dad”

“Call me Papa Doctor!”

“Yeah about that…so Dad, I’ve been thinking. I don’t think medicine is my passion”

“Speak up, what did you say?”

“Dad, I don’t want to become a medical doctor anymore!”

“My son, you just discovered this now?”

“Yes dad”

“So my boy what do you want to do with your life?”

“Ballet”

“Dad….dad?!!!”

He’s fainted! He gets resuscitated and started sobbing uncontrollably. Doctor Dolittle

I’ve been trying to keep up with all these great expectations, so I keep on faking. But you know the truth? We’re all secretly out of control and nobody knows it. Positive expectations are the mark of the superior personality but not everyone is superior or has a personality, to begin with.

To wish was to hope, and to hope was to expect. But know this, you are your own worst enemy. If you can learn to stop expecting impossible perfection, in yourself and others, you may find the happiness that has always eluded you. And more importantly, always know that everything is in perfect order…

whether you understand it or not.