The Philosophy Of Mental Illness

We’re all mostly insane. I visited a family once and I must say that even though insanity didn’t run in that family, I’m convinced it strolled through, taking time to get to know each of them personally. I should have known. The first warning sign was that they all talked at the top of their voice. This one time the dad was speaking to me, and I had to remind him, in the most respectful manner, that I was only just five feet away, and that I could hear him clearly. He paused for a bit and increased the volume. Crase

What is Mental illness? Mental illness in it’s purest form is shaving off your entire eyebrows, only to draw them back on with a pencil. It doesn’t get more accurate than that. A close second will be shaving your entire hair and then proceeding to prance around in a wig. While we’re on the subject of dressing, if you live in the tropics, and I catch you on a hot Sunday afternoon in a three-piece suit, I’m 100% calling the cops on your arse. Since you don’t know how to act.

If you get offended by being called fat. Fat people have come up with so many fancy excuses for their condition. “I’m not fat, I’m chubby”. You’re right, you’re actually obese. “Don’t call me fat, I have weight and I know how to carry it”. The funniest one I’ve heard in a while is, “I’m not fat, I’m big-boned.” I’ll have you know that the Blue whale has the largest bone in the animal kingdom ever discovered. So rather than say you’re fat, can I just call you ‘whale’ instead?. Wait, why are you picking up a stone?

Beating up kids. Now I can empathize with a school sending the kids home for owing school fees, but what exactly does beating them beforehand do to help? I mean it’s bad enough my dad is poor and can’t pay my fees, in addition, you’re punishing me for the sins of my father. Will it hasten the payment? The same applies to parents. So your kid isn’t doing great at school and your reaction is to deprive them of any fun? What happens when despite this, their grades don’t improve? You go ahead to suck the life out of the poor kid? You’re ill!

Anxiety is the devil. The human body is 80% water, so we’re basically just cucumbers with anxiety. Every time you say to yourself, “What could possibly go wrong?” and Anxiety is gonna be like, “I’m glad you asked”. Anxiety really just stops your life. It’s funny that there are so many people who are former executives and have taken all that stress and anxiety and transferred it to their kids.  How to deal with anxiety? You don’t, it deals with you.

Mental illness is real. It occurred to me that many people are actually afraid to heal because their entire identity is centered around the trauma they’ve experienced. They have no idea who they are outside the trauma and that unknown can be terrifying. It’s worse when people try to argue about what you’re experiencing. So the next time someone tells you that mental illness is all in your head tell them; “Well duh, where else is it going to be, my kidneys?”

I’d like to conclude by saying that there are actual people with these mental disorders, who still somehow, despite their clear and obvious limitations, find a way to be decent human beings. Then there’s you, who thinks being called bipolar is some sort of compliment. You hide under the umbrella of being bipolar to mask the fact that you’re indeed a poor excuse for a human being. If I catch you giving someone a hard time, you gonna catch a fade.

and it won’t be from a barbershop.

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