Running Barefoot

~ Gottfried

My nose is running a marathon. It has done more running this period than I have. Now I’m not sure if it’s just a runny nose or my brain is leaking out. You don’t realize how much you take breathing for granted until your nose is stuffed up. I’ve got a runny nose, a raspy cough, fever, aches and pains. I’m miserable. The only cure is chocolate. Honey, life can make you do many things, even kiss a man with a runny nose.

I should earn an award for keeping my mouth shut when there’s so much to be said. Sometimes you gotta take the shoes off your teeth and stop running your mouth. If you ran as much as you run your mouth, you’d be in great shape. Be careful who you trust, if someone will discuss others with you, they will certainly discuss you with others. Don’t let your mouth write a check that your tail can’t cash.

I run shit like diarrhea. There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane. Either you have diarrhea, or you’re anxious to meet people who do. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean that 1 enjoys it? If someone sprays windex in your food it can give you diarrhea. But once you wipe it off your windows, you’re fine. You feel a fart coming? Trust me, it’s way more than that!

Running out of gas. Not such a good argument when you have four feet to go to the station. The police noticed a car next to the road and on further inspection realized it had been reported carjacked that morning. They arrested two suspects waiting in the car because they had run out of gas. When the perp’s two friends arrived with a container of gasoline they were also arrested. Moral of the story, if you’re going carjack, do it at the gas station.

While I was running today I heard someone clapping, it was just my thighs cheering me on. Better believe me. The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it. You’re not doing it right if the most exercise you get is running your mouth, jumping into conclusions and pushing your luck. Stop leaving and you will arrive. Stop searching and you will see. Stop running away and you will be found.

Would you pour sand into the gas tank of your car? Of course not, your car was meant to run on good gasoline. Well, your body works the same way. Your body was meant to run on good food: fruits, vegetables, lean protein, and lots of water. Eat good food. If you’re looking for a reason to exercise and eat healthy, here’s one for you. Run because the zombies will eat the overweight and untrained ones first when the eventual zombie apocalypse takes place.

Don’t wear Nike if you can’t do it.

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

350 thoughts on “Running Barefoot”

  1. This for me- “While I was running today I heard someone clapping, it was just my thighs cheering me on.”🤣🤣🤣 That’s a subtle and rude😜 way of attacking overweight people trying to shed some weights 🙄

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  6. Pingback: Running Barefoot – Know That

  10. Don’t bother with chocolate unless as a final treat to yourself. Just load up on the whiskey or brandy, neat, with hot water & lemon, or just with honey. Just make sure the measure are plentiful, then lie down and all will be well in the morning.

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