Whenever I am sad, I go to my favorite place… the fridge. It’s crazy that when kids these days are feeling sad, they get told to close their eyes and imagine themselves in a happy place. In my day, you were happy enough to be alive in the reality of my father’s house. Imagine crying over house chores, we sang! Then came adulthood, which is like looking both ways before crossing the street and then getting hit by an airplane.
When you are 15, everything is such high stakes, even tiny things. I think because of that, it is funny and sad at the same time. Oh the thrill of being a teenager! It’s funny how when I’m loud, people tell me to be quiet, but when I’m quiet, people ask what’s wrong. What do people really want? You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm. It’s really funny. Tears come from the heart, not the brain and apparently, rock bottom has a basement. Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that’s your parents job.
If you think nobody cares that you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. Or borrow money from a couple of friends and travel. Your phone might collapse under the weight of calls. Girls complain that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren’t any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly. Then you get dumped by a nice guy and fall into a deep sadness. There are three stages of sadness; sad, very sad and remove WhatsApp DP.
Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there’s an idiot pulling a door that says “PUSH”. Happiness does not create humor. There’s nothing funny about being happy. Sadness creates humor. Most of the time when you’re crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time when you’re worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the time when you’re happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time…
Don’t tell your problems to people. Eighty percent don’t care, and the other twenty percent are glad you have them. Which is why I never talk about things when I’m happy. I think I am afraid to be happy because when I do get happy, something bad always happens. When your kids are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
When I’m in the car and a sad song comes on the radio, I stare out of the window and act like I’m in a movie. Listening to Adele and I start missing a lover I never even had. It’s sad and upsetting when you see somebody crying hysterically, but at the same time it’s really funny. You shouldn’t be sad because ‘sad’ spelled backwards is das, and das not good.
“Are you really okay?” Nope, I am acting like I’m okay. Please don’t interrupt my performance. Sad hurts, but it’s a healthy feeling. When I’m sad I just sing, and then I realize my voice is worse than my problems. Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Whenever I lose some money, you’re right there. Let’s face it.
You’re bad luck
©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved