Life is like riding a bike. No To keep your balance, you need to keep moving. The problem right now is that my thighs hurt. What’s worse is my friends seem to be riding on scooters and are moving a lot quicker. I’d rather have a bicycle accident than a scooter accident though. See where I’m going with this? Life is a lot easier when you’re walking. Until a truck loses its breaks and knocks you down. Life is not easy.
Balls. You have five balls in total (two if you’re male). Work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. Family, Friends, Health and Integrity are glass balls. So if you were to drop any of them, it will be irrecoverably scuffed, perhaps even shattered. So when next you’re advised not to drop the ball at work, hiss and throw the ball at your line Manager. Work to live, don’t live to work. You can’t do a good job if your job is all you do.
There are no bad pictures. It’s not the angle or the lighting. Stop blaming the photographer, that’s just how your face looks sometimes. No you don’t look young for your age. No you can’t pass for a teenager, you look every bit the thirty years that you are sweetheart. Cut the crap. I’d be upset if I looked forty when I eventually turn sixty. The whole point of turning sixty was to look sixty and I can’t even have that?
The trick is to not let people know really how weird you are until it’s too late to back out. Every day you keep unwrapping new layers of your existence to them like a poisoned onion. Keep them glued like it’s a heartbreaking television show. Leave the past where it belongs, don’t look back when you know you shouldn’t. Ensure that they can’t quite place why they started to like you in the first place. The con is complete.
Make mistakes. I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, I’m thinking of making a few more. Just need to get my hands on the wife first. If I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote. Unless my mom threw it away, alongside the manual. Take on risks and ride the journey of life with no regrets, but at the very least fasten your seatbelts. As much as I’d love to watch you crash and burn, it’ll get boring after a while.
Women. Whether it’s at work or at home, understand this. A woman is always right. Just sometimes confused, misinformed, rude, stubborn, unchangeable, but never wrong. The best sign that your relationship is doing great is if there’s no sign of it on social media. Once she starts posting one too many photos of you, she’s cheating. Trust me, she’s not excited.
The perfect man. By definition the perfect man is an unknown mythical creature available only in books and movies. Ladies, stop searching for Prince Charming, you’re not a princess. If you meet someone that keeps things moving, hear him out. Life is all about balance. You don’t always need to be getting stuff done. Sometimes it’s perfectly okay, and absolutely necessary, to shut down, kick back, and do nothing. One day your life will flash before your eyes.
Make sure it’s worth watching
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