Moods Swinging

~ Gottfried

My moods don’t just swing. They bounce, pivot, recoil, rebound, oscillate, fluctuate and occasionally pirouette. Men have mood swings. Women have mood leaps, mood swirls and mood loops. You don’t know you could breathe wrong until you’re around a woman with a mood leap. Suddenly you’re being accused of taking in too much oxygen per time. If she starts swinging, swing back. And don’t miss.

The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run for your life! On a bad day, I have mood swings. But on a good day, I have the whole mood playground. You can get punched in the face one minute, and a kiss the next. It’s so full of surprises. I act like I’m always in a good mood when I’m not, but it’s my job. In a bid to become unpredictable, I have lost all sense of feeling. Some argue that I’m dead inside.

Do mood swings count as cardio? I’d like to think so. All that expended energy has to mean something right? If it weren’t for my mood swings, I wouldn’t get any exercise at all. Mood swings are considered to be healthy as long as they do not interfere with your life to an extreme degree. Spoiler alert, they do! Water is the solution to all your problems.

A good mood is like a balloon, one prick is all it takes to ruin it. Please don’t expect me to always be good, kind and loving. There will be times when I will be cold, thoughtless and hard to understand. Usually triggered by starvation. Nothing a hot plate cannot fix. Unless there’s too much salt and we’re back to square one because you’re going to get an honest review on your cooking.

Not to brag but I haven’t had a mood swing in like seven minutes. Women typically last only five minutes before changing moods. Some say it’s the curse of the black pearl. Being a girl isn’t easy. From uncontrollable mood swings to hormonal imbalance and period pains, your hands are quite full. Don’t allow any guy add to your struggles, you’re already going through it. Stay single.

Moods never ask for permission before they change. There I was on my wedding day and out of the blue, my social battery died. Despite my spouse’s best efforts, she couldn’t wipe the look of disappointment off my face. The handkerchief didn’t work. It took a lot of explaining to convince my father-in-law to let me take her home afterwards, which I found rather odd. What was the bride price for?

Beware of mood swings. If you don’t like me today, come back tomorrow. If you still don’t like me tomorrow, you might like me the day after tomorrow. You know what they say? Third time lucky. Humans are known to be largely unreliable. Now what you shouldn’t do is get my hopes up only to predictably dash them. At the end of the day, the truth comes out. I’m not in a bad mood

everyone is just annoying

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

166 thoughts on “Moods Swinging”

  9. “Please don’t expect me to always be good, kind and loving. There will be times when I will be cold, thoughtless and hard to understand.”.

    Yes. When you it say to people, they get all weird but it’s true.

    Liked by 2 people

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