Low Battery

~ Gottfried

When life gives you lemons, construct a crude electrochemical battery. If overthinking situations burned calories, I’d be dead. Worrying will be the death of every one of us if we don’t snap out of it. It’s bigger than you, just chill and see what karma comes up with.

I hate leaving home when I don’t have a full battery. The only way to recharge your battery is to eat. Yawning is your body’s way of saying you only have 20% battery remaining. Batteries are the most dramatic object. Other things stop working or they break. But Batteries…they die.

Today I tried to do some work manually. I sat down on the couch and I’m watching TV. It’s hard but it’s necessary. Before I could get the TV to come on, I had a bit of a challenge with the remote. So I hit it hard twice with my palm and it suddenly started to work. So batteries respond to violence?

Phone batteries last longer than relationships these days. I don’t always lose my phone, but when I do, it’s on silent and 5% battery life. Just the perfect conditions necessary for me to begin my futile search. I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

Reading allows me to recharge my batteries. I like my bed more than I like most people. Actually, I don’t like people, I tolerate them. My life is a constant struggle of wanting to go out and have fun with people, while simultaneously trying to avoid all human contact.

Being an introvert doesn’t mean you “hate doing all things.” I came. I saw. I had anxiety, so I left. It just means that your social battery drains very quickly. My mobile phone battery dies all the time because all the messages come straight to me. If only someone could intercept a few of them?

Marriage has no guarantees. If that is what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. Here’s a parenting hack for you when punishing your kids. Don’t take away their electronics. Just take their charger and watch the fear in their eyes as they use it less and less while the battery slowly dies. You’re welcome!

Brb…need to go plug my phone

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved.

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178 thoughts on “Low Battery”

  3. Thjs part that says “So batteries respond to violence?” 😆 sure it does. Obviously like my bed than most people indeed 😆. Thanks for tolerating me gott

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  5. My life is a constant struggle of wanting to go out and have fun with people, while simultaneously trying to avoid all human contact.

    These lines really hit different because that explains me. I see people having fun and I wish I was there but the moment I get an opportunity, I back away.

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  8. Gottfried, I am still laughing. Let’s hope my tablet’s battery holds up until I finish this comment. Taking away a wayward teenager’s charger . . . what a great idea! Too bad, my own children are grown up.

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  10. When life gives you lemons, construct a crude electrochemical battery..

    You just had to remind me of the horrors of high school chemistry 😭😂😂😂😂

    I hate leaving home when I don’t have a full battery.

    Nothing gives me anxiety like a battery reading below 100%💀💀💀, sometimes I wish it could store extra charge and use it to remain fully charged always! 😂😂

    So batteries respond to violence?

    Ahaaaa, I always say when diplomacy fails, violence works. So what’s the need to try diplomacy which might fail when violence is a sure bet? 😂 😂 😂 I support, encourage and practice violence and chaos 👍😂

    Actually, I don’t like people, I tolerate them.

    You get it

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