No new Friends

Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them. I will text you 50 times in a row and feel no shame. You’re my friend, you literally signed up for this. A true friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though he knows you are slightly cracked.

Happiness is insulting your best friend for no reason. You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend, I’ll train you. Finding friends with the same mental disorder is priceless. Good friends pee together, but best friends puke together. Friendship is like peeing on yourself. Everyone can see it but only you gets the warm fuzzy feeling it brings.

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people. Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it’s good just knowing they’re there. Not really great for punching though. There’s nothing better than a friend unless it’s a friend with chocolate.

One good reason to maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. True friendship is when your friends are always there by your side when you need them, and when you don’t.

Friendship is being there when someone is feeling low and not being afraid to kick them. Love is blind, friendship closes its eyes. Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another; ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one”

Anyone can make you smile. Many people can make you cry, but it takes someone really special to make you smile with tears in your eyes. Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up after I have finished laughing. Friends are like condoms, they protect you when things get hard. If your friends don’t openly laugh at you then are they really your friends? We’ll be friends till we’re old and senile.

And then we can be new friends

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved


174 thoughts on “No new Friends

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