Credit Alert

Beauty is in the eye of the credit card holder. Every now and then, your phone buzzes and you see a bank alert. In this moment, your mind races through a ton of possibilities. Is it credit alert? Debit? What do they want? Banks shouldn’t be allowed to message me if its isn’t about credit alert.

No drug is as effective as a bank credit alert. It can wake up your dead cells in a matter of minutes, return your lost appetite and even make you smile in a funeral service. May credit alerts be a regular part of our lives. It’s not enough to say amen though, back it up by committing fraud regularly.

Credit alerts are unarguably the king of all alerts. Nothing in this life beats a credit alert notification. Only an unexpected credit alert comes close. You watch as your balance becomes swollen and you start to budget which food platter you’re going to buy, because you’re forever a foodie. No need to be ashamed, this is a safe space.

Debit alerts are just depressing. Can someone send money to my account. I want to confirm my credit alert still works. The debit alert is working fine though, thank you very much. I prefer to send my parents money in the dead of the night, so that they wake up to a credit alert and begin their day with a smile.

You go about your day angry because you haven’t received a huge credit alert. The kind that will bring out a smile or even possibly a chuckle from your mouth. The only way to smile daily is by making money daily. Money is a major self-care. Till date, money is the most potent skin care routine.

Credit alert are therapeutic. They have a way of making your blood pressure go down. Foreplay doesn’t always start in the bedroom. Sometimes, foreplay is listening to how your partner spent their day, a leg rub, a neck rub, a gentle massage, helping with the chores, a sincere compliment or even a credit alert.

Try other “ways” to put your partner in the “mood”. Personally, credit alerts set the tone for the evening. One beautiful morning you will wake up to see the kind of credit alert you have always prayed for. The type that will have Interpol sending a special team to come after you. Until then, continue to do what you do best. Keep grinding.

Grinding pepper

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

86 thoughts on “Credit Alert

  1. Dearest Gottfried, you hit a sweet spot today. I am up at the crack. You know you have given in to my demand for more! But you threw a curved ball. Last night I lamented, Oh, God! Is it really Thursday tomorrow already? So … Being as I am up earlier than ever, no idea why, I thought, Oh, God now I have missed Thursday Friday Saturday and Sunday!!!! What the actual frogs?
    But yay! A bonus. i checked. It’s definitely Thursday. And I love you you always and forever. Gushing is required. Happy alerts!

    Liked by 1 person

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