How to mind your business

Did you know that there are zero calories in minding your own business? Trust me, when you mind your business, life is way less stressful. It is better to have your nose in a book than in someone else’s business. Avoid gossip today by reading a book.

Hey I found your nose. It was in my business again. If you don’t like the way I do things then feel free to mind your own business. Successful people never worry about what others are doing. To mind your business is to be successful.

How I learned to mind my business. I was walking past a mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting. “13…13…13.” The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on. Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick, then they all started shouting. “14…14…14.”

They say milk is good for your teeth. You know what else is good for your teeth? Minding your own damn business. The hardest part of doing business is minding your own. If you drink a gallon of water a day, you won’t have time to be in anyone’s business because you’ll be too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

Minding your business shows respect and maturity. I’m sorry I didn’t realize you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please, continue while I take notes. I don’t know how people get so anti-something. Mind your own business, take care of your own affairs, and don’t worry about other people so much.

By minding your business, you make someone happy every day. About to start telling people different stories about my life so that when they get together and gossip about me they will end up arguing and fighting. Places you can stay for absolutely free? Your lane.

Don’t study me, you won’t graduate. If you mind your business, you’ll stay busy all the time. I’m too busy walking on my own grass to notice yours is greener. Always remember that unless you know the whole situation, keep your mouth shut.

Actually, keep your mouth shut regardless.

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved