How to mind your business

~ Gottfried

Did you know that there are zero calories in minding your own business? Trust me, when you mind your business, life is way less stressful. It is better to have your nose in a book than in someone else’s business. Avoid gossip today by reading a book.

Hey I found your nose. It was in my business again. If you don’t like the way I do things then feel free to mind your own business. Successful people never worry about what others are doing. To mind your business is to be successful.

How I learned to mind my business. I was walking past a mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting. “13…13…13.” The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on. Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick, then they all started shouting. “14…14…14.”

They say milk is good for your teeth. You know what else is good for your teeth? Minding your own damn business. The hardest part of doing business is minding your own. If you drink a gallon of water a day, you won’t have time to be in anyone’s business because you’ll be too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

Minding your business shows respect and maturity. I’m sorry I didn’t realize you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please, continue while I take notes. I don’t know how people get so anti-something. Mind your own business, take care of your own affairs, and don’t worry about other people so much.

By minding your business, you make someone happy every day. About to start telling people different stories about my life so that when they get together and gossip about me they will end up arguing and fighting. Places you can stay for absolutely free? Your lane.

Don’t study me, you won’t graduate. If you mind your business, you’ll stay busy all the time. I’m too busy walking on my own grass to notice yours is greener. Always remember that unless you know the whole situation, keep your mouth shut.

Actually, keep your mouth shut regardless.

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

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84 thoughts on “How to mind your business”

      1. Sure! People’s actions, choices and habits include voting, consuming patterns, behaviour towards other people etc. These things can have a negative impact to other people, to the environment, to the way society is. In a society, everything is political, in the sense that who you are and what you are doing, directly or indirectly affect other people too.

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          1. You certainly have to mind your own business too, but not only that. It helps to take into account what other people are and do, because you live with them and thus what you are and do is affected by that too. It also helps because you can influence them. Like, what did you publish this post? Apparently you think people do not mind their business, and you think they should. Why don’t you simply mind your own business and trying to influence people not mind about other people’s business?

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  9. I laughed out loud. I feel you. In my home town people still talk about my sexual exploits. And in another town they believe I am a single gay person. No one hit on me there. Who knew why. Not even a gay person. I thought that at least a gay person could have tried their luck, but no. So no one talks about me there.
    You are the delight of the week. I’m sorry someone minded your business. It’s totally okay to dispatch anyone with a mouth opened to voice an opinion. I find expletives work. And pretend you are blind and deaf. Give them no eye contact. The cads. I threaten offenders that I will beat them with sticks. They believe me. I don’t even have chop sticks, match sticks or any kind of sticks, but as any good African does, I collect rocks. You never know when a black hawk may come flying by.
    Bless your heart. Forgive them for the sake of peace. Lashon Hara (not minding your own business) is the worst sin. It is impossible to repent of it. Apparently one has to stay silent on the whole Sabbath to make a dent the transgression. They are all going to hell. Forever.

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      2. If you have watched Mozart and the Whale, a movie about autistics, it was a very Mozart moment and I am sorry if I have offended anyone and you. Delele the comment. Deeply regret any offence.

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