The Issues of Life

~ Gottfried

Don’t trust everything you see. Even salt looks like sugar. My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me. Maybe it’s because I’m aging. But age is something that doesn’t matter unless you are cheese. I don’t trust easily, so if I trust you, consider yourself lucky…or heavily under investigation.

When people tell me “you’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep until noon because I’m a problem solver. I’m so sick of my problems! I want rich people’s problems. Like where to park my yacht. Jokes aside, we should probably get therapy for all the issues we conceal with humor. I love you more than I am annoyed by you and that’s why you’re still alive.

How can I trust you when you keep running away every time I untie you. I trust people to be exactly who they’ve shown me they are. Trust issues? I like to think of it as “highly selective trust requirements”. I have trust issues because people have lying issues. I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. There must be something wrong with the recruitment.

Better days are just around the corner…they are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday. My eyes have a lot of trust issues, they never fall for anyone. Whenever I have a problem, I sing. Then I realize that my voice is a lot worse than my problem. Just relax and accept the crazy. No man goes before his time– unless the boss leaves early.

Expect problems and eat them for breakfast. I have got 99 problems and I am not dealing with any of them. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest. Dear problems, give me some discount. I’m your regular customer. He who asks for stew ontop his Jollof rice has trust issues. The secret to staying young is live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.

Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me. Getting in a relationship may seem tempting but so was getting on the titanic and look what happened there. Do you know there is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs…

and the fact that the average house cannot jump.

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

44 thoughts on “The Issues of Life”

  1. “No man goes before his time–
    unless the boss leaves early.”
    -Jesus C
    And His Dad
    And His Son

    True Daddy Issues

    First World Issues

    Mr Gottfried

    We Have A Few

    Spending is the Way

    Savings Still Low on Returns

    Moral of the Issue Why Jesus is Fixed
    Interest Where He is Once Again Dear

    ‘Big Daddy’
    Why Have
    You Forsaken me…

    True We Are These Children too

    Of
    The Corn
    Wheat Has
    Already Been Harvested

    Oh Dear Lord Issues After ‘The Apple’
    Solution Returning Before ‘Windows’

    At Least

    Version 8.0 Hehe

    I Shall Continue to Consume ‘The Apple’
    First World Issues i Shall Replace With New Seed..:)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

      1. Hehe Mr Gottfried
        C Is For Cultural
        Context And Jesus
        Is For Interpretation

        45 Thousand Plus
        Denominations And
        Still Counting HAha

        All Globally

        You Caught
        me in A SuNDaY

        State Of Mind

        -Florida Man 🧍‍♂️
        Issues
        ~Dumb Blondes

        What Happened When
        “They” Gave JeSuS
        Sandy Blonde Hair
        And Sea Green Eyes

        “Be Careful
        What They
        Wish For”

        Just Another Hippy
        Hanging Out Homeless
        On The Beach With

        Other
        Wanderers

        With Only
        Naked Nature
        As THeir Home

        Loving one

        Another

        This Life
        Is For The Birds

        Flying Free
        With No Words 😶

        Only A Free
        Dance
        And Song 🎧 🦜

        Yeah i
        Got
        Free Issues
        With SMiles 🪽

        ~STiLL BEaTinG
        The Hell Out Of

        ‘The System’

        Yours
        Truly💫

        ~Cryptically
        From “THee Haw Old Crypt”

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

          1. Hehe Mr Gottfried
            All Of Existence Is
            A Puzzle Someone
            Has To Pick Up The

            Pieces
            To Put It
            All Back
            Together
            Again You
            Are One Of
            The “Few Good
            Men” Duly Nominated

            For the
            TAsK AT
            Hand Meanwhile

            ChessHire SMiles
            Remain All 9 And
            More DiMeNSioNS

            Of
            “The Game” ♟️

            Let’s Face FActs
            All Existence Is

            Silly
            Banter
            Enjoy The Play

            -ShakeSpHere
            🌏🌎🌍 🐈‍⬛

            Liked by 1 person

          3. SMiLes Mr Gottfried
            We aRe All Here to
            Grow And Support

            Each

            Other’s

            Efforts

            Standing Upon
            Dancing Singing
            Free Upon Bones
            And Blood Of All

            Ancestors
            Related
            Surviving
            Struggle For
            This Gift Of

            Life
            New
            With
            SMiLes Now 🐈

            Liked by 1 person

          5. “Dancing in the sunlight”
            Indeed It’s What Ya Always
            Do After “The Sentence”
            Of Dancing With The
            Devil in The Never
            Ending Pale
            Moon
            LiGHT
            Is Finally
            Done With
            SMiles Mr Gottfried🙌🕺

            Liked by 1 person

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