Flying Without Wings

~ Gottfried

Airplane anxiety is only funny when you’re on the ground. When you’re up there in the air, for the brief period there’s turbulence you can hear even atheists acknowledge God. I’m sure the best part about being a flight attendant is being able to look at random people and saying “Trash”. 

People used to assume that by 2013 we’d have flying cars and floating houses. But all we have are blankets with sleeves, social media and reality TV. To make time fly, throw your watch out of the window. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members. 

Good things come to those who book flights. Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don’t think there’s really any oxygen, I think they are just to muffle the screams whilst we all plunge to sudden glory.

I haven’t been everywhere but it’s on my list. Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo. When everything is going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. Life is short. Call in sick and book that last minute flight. 

You already exist, all you have to do is fly. Life is like a rollercoaster. Just when you think you’re on top, you go flying back down and someone pukes on you. A ‘good’ landing is one from which you can walk away. A ‘great’ landing is one after which they can use the plane again. 

Fluffy clouds are my favorite clouds. You see, in a world where elephants are pursued by flying men, people are just naturally going to want to get high. If weed is a plant and plants are life. The wouldn’t smoking weed be getting high on life? Your wings already exist. All you have to do is fly…

And drink Red Bull 

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

50 thoughts on “Flying Without Wings”

  1. Oh wow, that’s a lot of airplane and travel-related quotes packed into one! 😄 You really seem to love the thrill of adventure and the freedom of the skies. I particularly like the quote “You already exist, all you have to do is fly.” It’s a powerful reminder that we all have the ability to spread our wings and soar.

    Also, I can’t help but chuckle at the “Fluffy clouds are my favorite clouds” quote. I mean, who doesn’t love a good fluffy cloud? 🌤️ And the Red Bull addition was a nice touch.

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  3. Your post is both hilarious and relatable! Airplane anxiety is definitely one of those things that’s easy to joke about when you’re safely on the ground. But up in the air, every bump can feel like a major event. It’s true, turbulence has a way of making everyone a bit more spiritual, if only for a moment.

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