Whiplash

There are no two words more harmful in the English Language than “Good Job”. Because it’s easier to walk away than to fight for what you really want; your managers job. And it’s not just because the pay is more glamorous, you can just tell you’ll be better at it. 

Everyone around you is full of interesting and talented but you’re just alive. To be fair, it’s the only metric that really matters. Next time someone’s is praying next to you and they go “we are not better than those that have died”, stop them midway and go, “but we are!”

I don’t have mood swings. I have the whole playground. Common in rear-end accidents, whiplash is a type of neck injury caused by rapid back-and-forth movement of the head and neck. I wasn’t bobbing my head to a hip hop track, you nearly ushered me into the afterlife. 

Yes, I’ve made mistakes. Life didn’t come with instructions. And if it did. I wouldn’t follow them anyway. There’s nothing more exciting than popping a can of soda, and after the first gulp your brain takes a screenshot. Experts call it brain freeze. 

Call your mom. Call your dad. If you’re lucky to have a parent alive on this planet call them. Don’t text, don’t email. Call them on the phone and talk to them. Listen to them intently. Cherish every word they say. Stay on the call for as long as they want to talk to you. 

And if they’re not in this planet, call me dad. 

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