Make It Make Sense

There are things we’ve seemingly normalized in today’s society and we need to address a few of them because, why not? “The best things in life are free”. No, they’re not!

“I always tell people”. First of all, you don’t always tell me, as a matter of fact, you’ve never told me. Do I look like the people you’ve been telling? There’s no way on God’s green earth you’d tell me stuff like you shit your pants in high school and I’d forget. Absolutely-not-happening!

When people act like they don’t hear you the first time you speak to them, so you have to repeat yourself? Is this a joke to you?

Gottfried: What happened to the cornflakes?

Bayo: Huh!

Gottfried: You heard me!

Bayo: Oh! the cornflakes

Gottfried: No…the corned beef

It’s really rich of you to call out people that think the earth is flat on their stupidity. I’m not saying they aren’t, I’m just saying let people believe in whatever makes them happy. Like Santa Claus, the tooth fairy and peter pan. The earth is flat! No, you say, it’s spherical! It’s also rotating, but can you feel it move? But you believe regardless? Sheep.

People that get upset when you don’t recognize them.

Random old lady: Gottfried! Gottfried!

Gottfried: Err…hi

Random old lady: Gottfried! (Tugs at my cheeks) You don’t recognize me again

Gottfried: Nope

Random old lady: But…but I carried you when you were just a baby…

Gottfried: (Under my breath) No shit Sherlock Holmes, you haven’t aged a day!

When you remove a tick from a dog, you have to show it to the dog? The same happens with humans, but the saying is curiosity killed the cat? Some believe cats are reincarnations of dead grandmothers and I’m inclined to agree. I’m all for having dogs and cats as pets but I can’t quite wrap my head around having a pet hen. You mean we’re just going to allow you pamper some chicken wings? Hot sauce on it.

The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. Simply because you don’t have evidence that something does exist does not mean you have evidence of something that doesn’t exist. What I’m saying is that there are known knowns and that there are known unknowns. But there are also unknown unknowns; things we don’t know that we don’t know. For instance, you don’t know that you don’t know, you don’t have sense. And that’s facts.

As you keep roaming this planet, it’s pertinent that you search for your one true purpose. Don’t waste all your time trying to become the CEO of a Fortune 500 company when your destiny is to be a groundsman. No debating who lived a more rewarding life...

CEO of course