How To Fail Spectacularly

I have learned to accept failure as a beautiful thing. For you to fail, it means you’re at least trying to earn the right to be called a failure. Think about those that haven’t even tried. They’ve never felt the adrenaline rush right before their plans fall like a pack of cards. If you’re not excited at the prospects of failing, you’re not doing it right.

Failure is an orphan. It’s much easier for people to warm up to you when the going is good, but once there’s a semblance of toughness, they vanish. People like to think of those people as gold diggers. I like to think of it as common sense prevailing. But ask yourself this, as you’re broke like this, do you even like yourself? Can you blame them? Well yeah, but still.


Failure is universal. Everybody fails. As a parent, even if you get your money up, there will be that one kid that refuses to get with the program. They constantly bring shame to the family name. Discard them? No! Celebrate them? Yes! They’re doing something right! All your sheep might just not be white, there is always one black one. Diversity

So what happens when you set out to fail? My momma always said that “something worth doing is worth doing well”. Now if you apply these words to every aspect of your life(including failure), you’ll have a good thing going. You go into a relationship knowing fully well that shit is definitely going to hit the fan. You know it, she knows it too, so you both set out to make it spectacular. Might even earn you coins on YouTube.


You ever been in an examination and from the compulsory question, you can already picture yourself redoing the course? Don’t panic! Make the best of the situation. It is also a perfect time to write a detailed letter(on your answer sheet) to the lecturer about how much impact they have had on your life. Of course, the letter isn’t complete if you don’t initial it with “So help me God, Amen”.

It gets better with time. The more times you fail, the easier it gets to stomach it. And you know what they say about Experience? it’s up there as the worst teacher. I sure do not recommend it. People will fail you and you have absolutely no right to be offended. If you didn’t appoint them, then they can’t disappoint you. Keep the bar on the ground.

Being a disgrace. Growing up, it used to be my biggest fear. Now, not so much. Sometimes I look at people my age and think to myself, my parents got a really really good deal. I’m an absolute bargain. It’s also curious that kids from broken homes with deadbeat dads, more often than not, turn out fine. There’s something inspiring about watching your drunken dad piss on himself. It breeds success.

Life is fleeting and so are emotions. Certain setbacks can rock you to your very core. Grown men have been reduced to cry babies and independent women have resorted to strategic positioning to get by. Takes my mind to Thomas Alva Edison and the lightbulb. The cheek of this guy to say that failing 999 times was light work.

So here’s an idea. Live life on a free fall(a picturesque version of Niagara falls). Expect failure, but don’t be a pessimist. And when next you’re feeling low about a failed experiment…

Try again, fail again, fail better.

Β© Gottfried. All rights reserved.

206 thoughts on “How To Fail Spectacularly

  1. 1-as a bleached black sheep i can’t relate anymore , local man dey win now…..
    2- there was this short hand exam i wrote in junior waec, we were ask to translate a slash of gibberish to English, i wrote something about being sick, prayed for the script marker and wrote a joke along with it, i had a B

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Gosh that’s funny. In high school I purposely answered a question wrong because I had only studied one of the study questions (which wasn’t on the test). The English teacher ridiculed me in front of the class. Prick. But I passed the course and went on to get straight A’s (almost) in college.

    If I had tried to answer the correct question back in English class, I probably would have failed, maybe not made college and… who knows!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Lol… I had one who was exceptional. He was totally off the wall and they brought heavies into his class to try to fire him. Met him years later in a library and talked as adults. Turns out he was into esp and sh** like that. No wonder I liked him! πŸ€”

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Personally I have a huge thing against ‘accepting failure as a part of life’ I even hate saying the word, hell, I hated even typing it some seconds ago. I don’t buy and I encourage all to pursue success instead of vaguely expecting and planning to deal with the ‘f’ word. What you dream, think about and plan for, is what you get… We gon focus on positive vibes and get positive results! Yay!! 🎊 πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜„

    Liked by 2 people

  4. *Tolerance for failure is a very specific part of excellent company culture – and that lesson comes directly from the top. Champions have to make lots of tries and consequently suffer some failure or the organisation won’t learn*

    Saw this someone and I could relate

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Well you can say that failure is simply a part of life. One doesn’t have to fail in everything; there could be possible things you’re simply good at that you don’t need to fail even once to become successful in it.

    However, there are many aspects of life where failure could surface once or twice or more times before you come close to perfection. You might fail in exams, in a career, in a relationship, in your business, as a parent or as a child, but these are aspects of life you shouldn’t give up on. I mean, you must not succeed at everything you do, there things you do and if they don’t work out you just let go and find other ways, but there are things you don’t give up on.
    You just have to get up and try again, doing better with learnt lessons from your failure and by experience.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. You see that compulsory question part, that shii is so fvcking real.

    But when I imagine sitting with my Juniors rewriting that course, I shiver.

    Biko, it’s better I write down all the stories/jokes the lecturer told/cracked the day he taught that topic, atleast he’d know i was in class that day.

    It has always worked for me oh. πŸ˜•

    Liked by 2 people

  7. How can u be in a relationship dat both parties know it ain’t working out…gonna be a scumbag with no realistic goals nd waste of goddamn time….nd I also believe dat down the tunnel Dias awax light nd situations gets tougher wen approaching to “successful story”

    Liked by 2 people

  8. You ever been in an examination and from the compulsory question, you can already picture yourself redoing the course? Don’t panic! Make the best of the situation. It is also a perfect time to write a detailed letter(on your answer sheet) to the lecturer about how much impact they have had on your life. Of course, the letter isn’t complete if you don’t initial it with β€œSo help me God, Amen”.

    This really cracked me upπŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 3 people

  9. I like how I could easily relate and that my failures don’t get to me anymore and it’s always my stepping stone and that is the right attitude to it. There would be many failures and gladly, I’m ready for it.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. So many emoji’s well I just pretend that they never made their way into existence and therefore they become invisible! I am inside of my mind, such a fine mind to find! I just threw another log into my fire place, the one I spent two weeks rebuilding, I had to have some welding jobs done, so I gave that job to a Father-Son welding team, and they made each part to perfection, and when I went to Pay Them, They said; “No charge brother, just pass it on.” How rare is that to find? Oh! I passed it on in spades, I just mailed out the largest checks I had ever written, $10,000.00 to “Doctors Without Borders” &10,000.00 to my local food pantry, that no child should have to go to bed hungry; another $10,000.00 to a friend of mine in New York who’s son lost all four limbs to that stupid made up^war in Iraq; He is building homes for wounded veterans to live in, a good deed indeed!

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Well in Africa and Nigeria in particular, most would have succeeded right away but some communities are not just ready to see you excel so they keep frustrating you intensionally to make you feel you’re not even getting it right at all. But thank God we have strong genes of making it anywhere.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. No matter how slow your progress is, you’re still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying. Failure is a temporary detour not a dead end… and of course, a fall isn’t final unless you decide to stay on the ground; the point you finally realize that village people are in charge.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. When the knocked out boxer climbs up^ on the ropes to go another round, and he shakes his head and his sweat flows off and he says: “Where is he, let me at him” there you have found courage! The village people will always lose to the forces of Greed and the Lust for Power, and Profit, above all…….Sorry but that is just the way it is right now! Could you join me in making the way right? I have few, I need millions…….

      Liked by 1 person

  13. So Mr. Gottfried, How did i arrive at this ripe old age of 74? A failure? I just treated all men, women, and children as Equals…That paved my path-way into life…..I never felt the need to cheat, lie or steal from another human being…..I am a model of imperfection, I wish I had done more for my fellow man on this path of Life; I want to exit this world owning Nothing! That is my Goal, and I will achieve it…..Word’s Word’s Word’s What is Love? A word that has no meaning? A word soon changed like the sheets on a mattress? Just a four letter word? Or could it be what gives Life Meaning? Could it be what makes the flowers to bloom, the Sun to Shine each and every day; I do not know; could YOU give to me an answer?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. @Alaskamanspeaks….I’ll say,its a lot man. Life throws big things at us,most we can’t handle.I’ll say you please ease up,breathe a little,just leave your heart open and you’ll find your way..Trust me,easy is far from it but…It’ll happen

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Peace resides inside of me, I have no argument with any man, thus is peace found! The “House of Mankind” is built on this inner Peace….My desire is to Create a Paradise for our children to enjoy, it is hard, yet satisfying work……..

        Liked by 2 people

  14. Failure is inevitable. On the journey of self discovery, one fails over and over again. And like my pastor usually says β€œDon’t let your background put your back on the ground”.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Bamidele; Every time I find a few extra bucks in my pocket, I donate it to my local food pantry or the Salvation Army, or Doctor’s Without Borders, all worthy causes, I do not need money, I have everything I need right to hand; my neighbors drop off bowls of soup for me….I am what you might call Blessed, because I have a Guardian Angel sitting on my shoulder! Who will Help indeed!

      Liked by 3 people

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