It all started with a big bang. But no one asks, who set it off? In my mind’s eye, I picture the big man set off a hand grenade and throw it into space and bang! galaxies! The milky way! Serious question marks over who named it milky way, there’s quite literally no milk. But that’s not the point, the question is, was it an accident?
Growing up, I used to be a bit of a hothead. There was this girl in my class known for running her mouth. She would run you down at the slightest provocation and it was gradually becoming a reputation of hers. On this particular day, she came for me, and my ears. Talking about “Why do Gottfried’s ears look like mug handles?” Now I wasn’t going to react, but another guy went, “yeah, I see it too” Now I was pissed.
I tell her really calmly, “stop saying that, leave me alone”. But she wouldn’t listen and went ahead to say it one more time. This time the entire class hears and is thrown into fits of laughter. So I react sharply, you know, to shut her mouth. As my palm connects with her left cheek, I immediately realized why my dad warned me to never hit anyone. My excuse? It was an accident! Her cheek connected with my palm! Premeditated? maybe, but an accident regardless. Would I do it again? Absolutely!
Driving. Driving, in general, is an extreme sport. For some cities, you need to be on the edge or you won’t get anywhere. You also have to master the dark art of keeping your emotions in check. A fine gentleman learned the hard way as I watched him, in a hurry, park very carefully inside a gutter. You should see the look on his face as he crawled out of the passenger’s side. The look on my face? Delighted!
Unplanned kids. I wonder if twins realize that one of them was, in fact, an accident. Here’s a pro tip to know if you’re an accident. If your first birthday wasn’t hugely celebrated, I’ve got news for you. Also, if management was going through a financial crisis and you arrived to add to their troubles, you might wanna sit this one out.
Sometimes the root cause of your ‘accident’ isn’t even you. It could be any/or a combination of poor timing, sheer ill-luck, and good old foolishness. You almost have a sixth sense about what’s coming, but you ignore.
And when it does happen, when shit really hits the fan, the events of the day start replaying before you, this time, in slow-mo. You can almost taste the foolishness on your lips. If it could get worse, it definitely will!
Loving. Accidents ambush the unsuspecting, often violently, just like love. It’s usually the ones who swear that their heart is made out of reinforced concrete that falls helplessly in love. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving.
You see where I’m going with this? Yes? Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.
And so my dear friend, as you waltz through this divide of eternity called life, know this for certain. There is no such thing as an accident.
It is fate unnamed.
Omg! Finally I found someone who has mug handles in place of ears, just like me!!!
Why do bad things happen to good people?😂
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Haha it’s just how the world goes 😁
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And for emphasis, your ears do like a mug handle 😂
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Hahaha don’t lemme catch you
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TWINS :I wonder if twins realize that one of them was, in fact, an accident, unplanned.😆
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Haha you know the drill
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Maybe your ears do look like mug handles 😜😜😜
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This is how accidents involving palms and faces happen 😁😁
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” but an accident regardless. Would I do it again? Absolutely!” – Moh 2019
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haha put that on a headstone
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Awww you’re a sweet lad. Still think you’re the fastest gun in the West… Metaphorically speaking… “And he soon put many older guns to shame…” – Billy Joel
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It’s only a matter of time now. “I am, as I’ve said, merely competent. But in an age of incompetence, that makes me extraordinary” – Billy Joel
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Nice to find more inspired madness from my favorite comic. I actually knew this was here but have been preoccupied elsewhere. Today… finally in the right headspace to deal with you! :) One small note. I’d say *providence* instead of *fate.* The one enhances God’s freedom, the other well, it’s just the other…
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I was doing my best to not invoke any spiritual higher ups
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I’ll have to ponder that one. Way over my head!
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It basically means I tried not to bring religion into it
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Wise I suppose. But I tend to do it anyhow! “Push it… To the limit… One more time.” (An old song… ) 😊
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Hehe even inside the anyhow-ness, there’s moderation 😁
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Every dance has steps and rules! ☺
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Haha but of course 😁
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Lol.. and you are an exceptional dancer! Where’d you get those brains from, anyhow?
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My mom, my dad and my parents 😁
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I enjoyed reading this…very funny with some underline truths
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Thanks Chris. I appreciate 🙂
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i so love reading your humorous write up. Keep entertaining :)
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Thank you so much Maha. I appreciate ❤
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The entire story held my attention. How do you do it?
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Oh stop it. I’m really flattered 😄
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Hey “cuz”😀. Very carefully park his car in the gutter. I like that. But the twin incident , never thought of it like but yeah you’re probably right one of them was an accident most likely the bad twin 😀.
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Haha and they’re usually ungovernable
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Honestly I don’t know where to start from in condemning you that you are good, you are trying.. It has both the funny and annoying part in life. Just keep it up. Cheers man like Gottfried.
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It really be like that. Life is
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I can attest to those ears😏..
..So lovely you’ve added animations..
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Pick a venue let’s fight 😅
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Mr. Gottfried!!! Funny guy. The wrestling match can be cancelled naw.
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Hahaha
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I’ve always known you had great ears 😜😜😜but what I didn’t know is the fact that I could use them like handles to drink coffee🙊…lmao….She is not really a “run mouth”… She’s a careful observer🙌😒😂😂😂😂😂
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Don’t worry, let me just catch you 😭😂😂😂
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Mug handles? Gottfried where are you? I want to check something… 😉 😉
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“I prefer not to disclose” 😅
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Errrm 🤔. I know where to find you. Omw
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You will be met with a resistance 🙂
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🤣nothing is as irritating in class than when someone says some dumb stuff randomly and some moron agrees then the class assume it’s funny and starts laughing … imbeciles 😑
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They start to think they’re comedians 💀
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Thank you, thank you, thank you ❤
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Ya using animations all ready!👌
That’s way too cool mahn
🙌
Ya good Ebuka👏
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I really enjoyed this. Nice one.
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Thank you ❤
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to love is to suffer bro.
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To suffer is to suffer 💀
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And not to love is to suffer😂
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but suffering makes one unhappy 😅
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I think what got me this time is the cartoon of the girl that left the boyfriend at the slightest trouble🤣 i can legit try this if i actually dont like you.
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women are scum 💀
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Says who?😂
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I’ll see myself out 🙈
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Nice one Moh
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Thanks Yinka 😅
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I can relate….what choices to make even
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It’s an eternal struggle 😇
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😂😅😍Lol, her cheek connected with your palm🙄, lmao, wehdon sir
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I like to think of it as fate. 😂😅
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Nice one👏🏻 … very nice mug ears 😊
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Come out let’s fight
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My people will call it Ass-dent,fate unnamed.Nice one Bubu
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Thanks Timaarh ❤❤
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This is a nice piece bro. Love how you worked around important issues using funny instances …the high light for me was (you can almost taste the foolishness in your mouth)😂😂
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It will be right there on your lips 😂😂😂
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Lol! 😂😂😂 that was a huge bunch of fun… it’s ok to land the palm on her cheeks, i would do that too, no i wont mention gottfried inspired me ✨😉😜 well said at the end, there are no accidents 😂 it’s fate untamed 😉👌
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In my defense, her cheeks found their way to my palm 😅
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Excellent
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Cheers
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My heart of reinforced concrete has been so watery lately. Apparently, it’s not an accident 😂
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It was a concerted effort to secure it forever hahaha
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You’re giving me a headache with those love suffer lines. Haba
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hahaha but did you deep it?
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Enough to make me suffer 😭
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Aww ndo
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Nice post…. It was really interesting to read the way you described…..
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Thank you Nabeela 😅
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Ass-he-dent
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Back in secondary school, “if I dent you” was a legitimate threat
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🤣🤣😋🤣😋 i can’t with you anymore
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Hahaha, no vex na
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Ohh God… Gottfried not again…😂😂
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Hahaha
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Lol. That your large palm connected with someones cheek. She must have seen the milky way in the galaxies too.
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Haha, this comment is clever 😂
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Hehehe. About to love is to suffer and enjoying suffering to get happiness, that’s deep. Lol
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Haha it is
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I really enjoyed this
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Course you did 😅
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How can you be happy with a gentleman’s accident? As for the girl you slapped, i hope she slaps you too
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I’m afraid you’re mistaken. Her cheek connected with my palm 😅
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😆
Mug handles
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Don’t let us fight 💀
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Love- suffer – happy … the way you play with words no be here. Nice one again bro.
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Na legend.
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I’m honored 💕
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Thank you aunty ❤
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Well u’re right, everything that happens in life is all part of the ‘bigger plan’🙌
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What bigger plan? The Simulation?
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The plan dat everything dat happens didn’t just happen, no coincidence, it’s all meant to be🤗
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It’s hard to believe in coincidence, but it’s even harder to believe in anything else.
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The plan dat everything dat happens didn’t just happen, no coincidence, it’s all meant to be
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Coincidences mean you’re on the right path
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I love to love but I don’t want to suffer. I guess I just have to love and accidentally not suffer.
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Haha, baba you can’t hack this code
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To love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer… Meaning,we can’t escape suffering. I’d choose to love then 😊
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Awww, I see you love love 💘
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😂😂😂😭
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😂😂😂
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Did I read mug handles??😂 I honestly can’t look at you without noticing mug handles.
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Lmao you want your cheek to connect with my palm?
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Love is a beautiful yet complicated thing… 🤔
Accident happens all the time starting from the mug handles😶😶
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Lol Wumi watch your back😂
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😂😍
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😂😂😂
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No such thing as accidents and coincidences
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You’re in the spirit on a Monday😅
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Kezia was here 😂
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💀💀💀💀
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Nice
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Cheers
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Lol people are ever ready to sly
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It really be like that 😁
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I agreed completely. Funny peice.
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Thanks Elle 😁
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So it was fate to slap her? Hmm.
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Her cheek hit my palm😑
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So are you going to tell me you didn’t notice those ears all your life? 😅
And I hope you have found love
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I’ve kinda grown into them 😁.
Finding love no be here
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Hard guy hard guy
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😂😂😂
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Driving in lagos is an extreme sport….not for the fickle minded.
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Or the faint hearted 😅
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I don’t remember my first birthday, all those many decades ago, so it must not have been widely celebrated. I’ve always been pretty sure I was an accient anyway, so no big deal, right? I suspect that most of life is an accident … we just muddle on through anyway. Boom! Pow! Crash!
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Management informed me that I wasn’t in the plans 😭
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You needed to be informed? 😹😹
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Why did they bring me here to suffer 😭😭😭
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Awwwww …. that’s sad! :'(
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I’m hoping it was dark humor 😭
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Oops! My first birthday was not hugely celebrated, but my seventh was. Manz wanted me to be sane enough I believe.
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Haha, look deeper
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😀😀 werey no be say u slap am na ur hand connect to her cheek lol
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Lmao you get! 😂
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Old fashioned,
But a very interesting notion..
Let
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This comment 🤔
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For real though, why is it called the milky way?
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Apparently the Romans thought it looked like a milky patch of sky above the earth at night. Idiots 😂
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I wonder how I have not noticed your mug ears since😂😂
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I’ve grown into them 😂😂😂
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dark humour 💀💀
kids shouldn’t be born
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Haha at all
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Lord Banter abeg, go and add a mug to the mug handles.
And you see those of us with reinforced concrete ehn, leave us alone.
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I’m already carrying my head 😭😭😭. BTW you people should fix up
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“Fate unnamed” ☹
I’ll keep that in mind
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You really should 👌
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Who packed carefully inside a gutter😂😂😂
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When I say “there’s no hurry in life”, he didn’t know 😂😂😂
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🤣🤣
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😂😂😂
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MY heart used to be made of reinforced concrete😅
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Haha what changed?
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This life is just a misery…there are lot of things unknown to us
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My brother, we’re in a simulation 💀
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Lol, Some “accidents” might leave some unforgettable scars. Regardless, they are life lessons.
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Spoken like a true clergyman 👌
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😂😂
Through my mind back to when I begged to drive Gottfried out of the estate. Man saw the calamity in the making.
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Threw*
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😂😂
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I could almost taste it 😭
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So I think I’ll just go and feel sorry for myself. It takes less effort for the same results. Now, let’s see what could I feel bad about…. Darn it. Things have been going so well, but I’m sure all that will change soon. Right? At least then I’ll know I was right to feel miserable and that will make me happy. Do I want to be right, or happy? I’ll stop here. I’m getting mixed up. Why did you start this, Gottfried?
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Enjoy the fact that things are going well maybe?
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