I find it really convenient that people will rather pretend it doesn’t happen than discuss a phenomenon that persists with us every day. Dread it, run from it, we all fart! When you eat, your body produces gas as part of breaking down and processing food. Fact! But people, take note, there’s a difference between a ‘fart’ and a ‘mess’. Only victims can differentiate.
And honestly, all that gas needs to be released. This is so it doesn’t build up in your digestive system. In truth, when you hold a fart in, they travel up your spine, into your brain and that’s where all your shitty ideas come from. Agenda!
Farts can fight strokes, heart attacks, and dementia. Looking at the most important of the lot, if you keep farting, you’re less likely to suffer deterioration in memory, thinking, behavior and the ability to perform everyday activities. For every fart, you remember what chores you were assigned! Mom’s glad!
When you feel a fart coming. Not every fart is a fart. Greg learned this the hard way. We (actually they), they were having a fart contest in the PREP class and everyone was trying to outdo the other.
Happiness comes from within. That’s why it feels good to fart. It all makes sense now really, every single time I fart in the exam hall, the answers start flowing. I mean those around me might be thrown off, but that’s collateral damage.
Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong. I discovered that pregnant women are also given a free pass when it comes to farting. Basically to avoid bloating, burping and flatulence. So the next time a pregnant woman farts around you, you’re supposed to say “bless you” and give them another hug.
Farts help you find your soulmate, or not. They say you never know a person’s true nature until you spend an ungodly amount of time with them. It’s a 50:50 situation half the time and it really sets the tone for how long the relationship will last.
Love is not having to hold your farts in anymore. If they’re the ONE for you, they will be willing to suffer in silence. It is a level of nasty I hope never to attain. It’s how you end up with airheads for kids.
Farting in public. If you fart loudly in public, don’t be ashamed. Just yell “Jet Power“ and start walking faster. It works like a charm. By so doing, the fragrance travels a longer distance and a lot more people can enjoy it.
On the whole, you should never be ashamed of farting. The caveat? As long as you’re not already dead inside. Farting is like the song from Frozen. Whether you’re at school, work, at the gym, heck even church. As soon as you feel it coming…
Let it go ♫
© Gottfried. All rights reserved.
Banter Republic 
Hahaha jus remembered Wen mum farted in my presence
Me=mum u farted?
Mum= yeah ,say thank you
Me = bursted into laughter
Mum=anytym u wanna fart awax do dah nd thank God you farted
LMAO 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
FUNNIEST AV HRD SINCE TODAY😂😂
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Hahaha your mom is hilarious
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That was the tradition until MESS had it fiery way…
Now we say….🤐
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😁😁😁
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This post made me laugh 😂😂 while I was reading it in a family meeting mistakenly it went of my mind…I just fart in the meeting and right now I’m undergoing beating
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Hahaha we need to send help to our fallen brother.
It is well 😂😂
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I’m eating while reading this post and now the food is tasteless
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You see that’s the thing, food is actually tasteless, it’s your tongue that gives it flavor 😂😂😂
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Exactly Moh. Everyone farts, the difference is that some do it in public while some do it privately which ever one a person indulges in fart is fart. Funny tho’
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Those that have been farting in private need to be liberated 😂
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someone would think they were comfortable on this blog and bam, another angle. na wa.
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Hahaha are you not entertained?
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deffs
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Glad to be of service 😁
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LOL! Farting is fun sha, especially saying, “I smell popcorn” after the deed has been done. And so much relief comes from farting, if you know, you know.
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I don’t know the relief you speak of.
Please explain further.
I don’t even fart myself 💀
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“…Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong…” OMG🤣🤣🤣…And the “farter” will become stronger after getting a strong slap
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I thought you weren’t an advocate of violence. What changed? 🤣🤣🤣
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Oh my days!! I’m hollering 😂😂😂
Who knew farting had this much benefits. I’m not really sure of the exam hall part, only if wishes were horses.
Farting is a norm, but nobody claims their fart in public. There’s always a camp of disgust after the deal is done.
I had a good laugh with this, well done!!
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I want to empower the next generation to claim their farts. It’s a thing of pride 😂😂😂
Thank you ❤
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I don’t even fart, I’m too fresh
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😂😂😂
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Like you said…there is a difference between ‘fart’ and ‘mess’
Please what is the difference?
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Pastor Evidence will be you shortly. Please hold on 😁
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Fart would just sound farty with no much of extra flavour…you could even ditch its existence…..But you see that mess. ..the method of which it finds it way out… like a furnace would first heat up your lobby then.. You would wonder who got you into the mess cause it’s gonna mess you up really bad.
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The mess will mess you up.
😂😂😂😂😂💀
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Can I fart beside my crush at work?
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It could help set the mood…
For your funeral 💀
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