My Sweet Valentine. I write to you with a heart full of love and a belly full of soda. If I had only one smile in me, I’d give it to you. Where there is great love, there are always wishes because, Love, is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves- alone, we find it with another. My words to you are as genuine as they are true.
A lot has happened since we last spoke. I grew taller, and you became rounder. Growth nonetheless! And as time passed, I came to the realization that there are a few things I haven’t said and need to get off my chest. You see, there comes a time in a man’s life where he thinks himself into a headache. We have arrived!
I’m never going to admit that I’ve gone broke. Even if I have! As is the case, that’s unacceptable! Not following the lofty standards I set for myself. Worse still, especially on the eve of Valentine. Therefore, I will take a more honorable route and do the right thing!
Setting the tone right…
Then dropping the bombshell!…
Sticking to your guns…
Pagan Holiday. Let’s skip this celebration. Despite the fact that society tries to pretend that it’s a day of love, history teaches us that two men were murdered in cold blood that day. I know you get squeamish when you see blood so I’d advise you don’t open the gift I’m intending to send.
A flimsy excuse? I understand that relationships are built around love and a support system. That being said, I must admit that you really have some unresolved daddy issues. Only your daddy can love you unconditionally. What do you mean I should apologize for calling you out on your bullshit? Why do you suddenly become Niagara falls every time you’re caught being wrong? Get with the program or vamoose!
But it wasn’t always like this. The last time we celebrated this pagan festival, you did the unexpected and scarred me for life. It all began from a harmless conversation…
It’s the D-day and I’m really excited to show you what I got you…
Now it’s your turn. Apparently, you didn’t get the memo or worse? Surely my ears were deceiving me? You took my breath away, literally!
So I did what any sane man in my shoes would have done. Invoke some old-fashioned juju!
Were you trying to make it an even number? Plus the one you bought didn’t even fit! Am I a joke to you?
All is fair in love and war. I have decided to climb the high moral ground and offer you forgiveness. But know this, there will be no peace for the wicked! No, I’m not saying that you’re wicked! It’s just a quote you could learn from, you know? Like they always say, we learn every day. Don’t we?
You always spoke about how you could do better without me. You took my dry humor for granted and that’s rich seeing as you don’t have any funny bone yourself. But more importantly, I’ve been meaning to ask you this burning question, since you think you’re so slick…
Valentine is coming?
Valentine is coming?
Valentine is coming?
Where’s your boyfriend?
© Gottfried. All rights reserved.
Banter Republic 
Please who started this valentine thing?
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Pontius Pilate 💀
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I don’t do boyfriends anymore.
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Please what do you do?😅😅😅
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Epic ending. 😅😅😅
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As per usual 😅😅😅
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Car Vrs Underwear…haha
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You can imagine the konkonbility 😂😂😂
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Lol….. I’m still laughing 😄😄😚
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Better start thinking of better gift oh 😂😂😂
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Lightning dear, are you busy?
“It’s my shift today, I’m all your DARLING…”
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Hahaha, go ham!
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Mad oh! Me, I like Valentine. Looking forward to Oga’s gifts. 😏
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Hahaha, but Ngozi what are you getting for Oga?
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🤣 it’s a surprise.
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It had better be a ‘pleasant’ surprise oh
We done too suffer 😅
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Valentine’s day is not boxing day, lower your expectations. Else, you might just be disappointed. Surprisingly, some people will still get singlet and boxers Lol.
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I think the small problem Bob is that only one gender is having to lower their expectations 😅
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if you average the value of the two gifts, that’s a pretty good average for a couple… 🙂
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😂😂😂😂 what averages are we using Jim?
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I just figured if you add the value of a car to the value of underwear and divide by two, you get a simple average. And a pretty big one. I would say that is the average value of the two gifts you exchanged with each other, and it is probably much higher than the average for most couples… 🙂
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You may be a mathematician Jim
But you also come across as a hopeless romantic.
Looking for positives where there aren’t any 😂😂
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I’m with you on the hopeless part… 🙂
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Haha bet you are
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2 Things:
1) SHAMEFULLY: That phone call is something I have done before
2) Get me an underwear and I’ll use it to chock you on BDSM. The boxers is going straight into you nose while the singlet ties your hands and legs.
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Police! Police!
I’m calling the police!
A two count charge, and the confession is attached 😂😂😂
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Control Over…
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😂😂😂💀
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Woah😁😁
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😭😂😂
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Ebuka, fine val for me na.
As I single like this
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My brother how I want hustle your own, still hustle my own?
😂😂😂😂
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