You never quite think certain things will ever happen to you. Right up until they do. It never crossed your mind that you could shit yourself, till the robber cocked the gun and aimed it at you.
You smiled at her and asked her to be your wife. And she went on to say yes! Wait, what? But you were kidding! How couldn’t she see that? Marriage isn’t (wasn’t) for you! Now you’re 30, living in your parents’ basement with a wedding to plan? Well same, I never saw the pox coming!
I mean, how was I to know? It was Christmas eve and
Spending quality time just chilling
Then I noticed a few ‘pimples’
Then it hit me!
I was at my lowest. They finally got me. I know people like to imagine that they don’t have enemies, but I’m not one of those people. I know I have enemies and for a while now, we’ve been at war, cold war. They caught me slippin’ for a sec and struck. A fan favorite, the people’s choice, defender of the weak and all-around good guy. Gottfried had caught the pox!
I never really understood the concept of ‘beauty is temporary’, then chickenpox hit me hard. Chickenpox taught me an object lesson on love. You see, love is like chickenpox, it’s much worse when it comes late. It also taught me about the government. The government is like chickenpox, you try to get away from it, but it always catches you in the end.
Mom got jokes. She looked at me there lying with sores all over my body and goes, “at least now you match the curtains”. It will take me a few years to process her forgiveness. Thankfully there’s no pictorial representation. Imagine taking photos of your suffering. People that take photos of themselves during a bad phase are really weird. What do you need the photos for? Weirdo
I was in a foul mood. And you can at least understand why. So, I did what I had to do to cope with the few who braved to visit me where I was quarantined.
He wasn’t giving up. Did everyone really have chickenpox while they were kids?
The wishes weren’t really cutting it for me. I was in severe pain. Mostly blows to my ego.
Consistency is key, guys.
But it was really the pox, I’m usually adorable. Believe me!
Chickenpox is not such a bad thing if you really deep it. The stars themselves are like chickenpox on the face of the sky, and that’s a beautiful sight! I told a friend I got the chickenpox, he told me he caught politics and never got over it. I think he might have a point cause he never stops yapping about the government doing a number on us. After a long time stay at home, I smiled and gave thanks to chickenpox because it taught me who were my real friends.
I see the battle scars and think to myself, surely there’s a positive here. I can always mess around and tell my kids that their dad got shot during an armed robbery attack. The problem is, the missus might decide not to play along. I’ll need a little help convincing them, you know, a little sprinkle here and there. This research paper I read suggests women are better liars. The jury is still out on that one.
So Son, if you ever get to read this. Know this! I might have looked bad at the time…
you should’ve seen the other guy!
© Gottfried. All rights reserved.
well, i’ve never got pox… so, lucky me?
this was a real funny post. loved reading it!
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You’re really lucky. I wouldn’t wish it on my enemy
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eating all that turmeric does help… we put it in milk, in rice, in soup, in vegetables… in EVERYTHING.
xD!
🧡💜🤍
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Haha I hate the smell of it
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really? i kinda like it!
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You’re not weird 😅
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totally, i’m real normal… 😉
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😅😅
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So women might be better liars? Interesting… I hope that’s true 😳😂
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Haha, I have it on good counsel that they are
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Well the day it was shared at school , I was there ,so I got chicken pox when I was kid , this is a little useless info btw hilarious one👏😂
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Haha, it’s very important to me 😂
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Loved this post. I’ve never had the pox and hope I never get them. Lying to your kid about the scares is the best strategy I’ve heard. You could claim it was a drive poxing. Ha!Ha!
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You’re so lucky and hope so for you too. It’s the absolute worst. Kid must not know the truth 😂
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I love your mother, definitely!
I shall still look for her in eBay!
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haha, you should!
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lol , they shared it in school 😛
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See, I knew I missed something
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haha you missed a lots then lol
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You’re right
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so much banter in one post… it would take weeks to respond and getting through the guttural laughter.
I could go on an on but shatting sounds much better FYI than shitting your pants so remember at. lol. However, it was something my husband said to me when we finished a hike.. “You shit your pants”. Seriously, and the milage he is now getting with the “kids” who should be grateful I don’t throw them out during Covid, right!!
The worst is I didn’t know..TMI again but here I go…ok, how do you not know I agree with that. The worst is he says “go over there and I’ll hose you down”. Do I look like a dog for godsake I say to him. Don’t answer that!!! And he didn’t ask me to marry him so I’m now not sure why I pushed the envelope but there’s still time to put him in the dog house.. ha. I was sure I had covid.. yes, this just happened so I gladly quarantined just to not hear from him which is worse than a headache I agree. Wait till your son gets the chicken pox and you get shingles… then you can compare who looks worse.
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Haha, I laughed all through this. Your life is really a movie 😅
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Oh good, mission accomplished!!! lol! It sure is actully 🤪!
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You’re quite literally the best Cindy ❤️
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awe, thanks but I’d argue you are.. ❤️
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Big love ❤️
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Bigger❤️.
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😄😄
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Ahaha your mum sounds the best “at least you match the curtains”. Kick the dog while it’s down and full of pox.
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She’s really great honestly 😊
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I never had chicken pox when I was little ( 2 years ago ) I thought chicken pox was when you ate to much chicken and turned into one..
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It’s kinda the same thing 😂😂😂
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WHAAAAAAAT? YOU CAN TURN INTO A CHICKEN? Someone give me fox pox pls or better, Hamster pox!!!
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Haha, wait for it
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You made this humorous although I’m sure it wasn’t
I also had that as a kid… now we have shots for that
Don’t feel bad though – I had my tonsils removed at 25 😮 omg for a kid that is nothing and they recover fast…
Not so much when you are 25!!! I could not speak at all without severe pain for like 2 months!!! Omg
And let me also add… my job at that time was a telephone operator 😳😮
That was all bad!!
So yeah I feel your pox pain… only mine is with the tonsils …
I was 7 with chicken pox… mild… quick and easy…
My oldest was 3 – also quick and easy
But my 2 younger ones have never had and they were given that shot 🤨 whatever
But now that you have had, still be careful… it lives in your spine and you can now catch shingles 😮 which is a million times worse – do not catch that!!!
Sorry about being the bearer of bad news 😳
I must have found your blog around corona shut downs cause anything before March is all new lol
Alright I have to go to bed – I don’t want to pay the piper tmrw lol ✌️
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Wait what? I’m at risk of Shingles? No way this is fair!
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Lol… yeah not something to mess with – definitely do not want that.
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Covering myself with the blood as we speak
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Lol ewww maybe not blood… that can attract bizarre occurrences lol
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Haha, must be why
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