Low Battery

~ Gottfried

When life gives you lemons, construct a crude electrochemical battery. If overthinking situations burned calories, I’d be dead. Worrying will be the death of every one of us if we don’t snap out of it. It’s bigger than you, just chill and see what karma comes up with.

I hate leaving home when I don’t have a full battery. The only way to recharge your battery is to eat. Yawning is your body’s way of saying you only have 20% battery remaining. Batteries are the most dramatic object. Other things stop working or they break. But Batteries…they die.

Today I tried to do some work manually. I sat down on the couch and I’m watching TV. It’s hard but it’s necessary. Before I could get the TV to come on, I had a bit of a challenge with the remote. So I hit it hard twice with my palm and it suddenly started to work. So batteries respond to violence?

Phone batteries last longer than relationships these days. I don’t always lose my phone, but when I do, it’s on silent and 5% battery life. Just the perfect conditions necessary for me to begin my futile search. I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

Reading allows me to recharge my batteries. I like my bed more than I like most people. Actually, I don’t like people, I tolerate them. My life is a constant struggle of wanting to go out and have fun with people, while simultaneously trying to avoid all human contact.

Being an introvert doesn’t mean you “hate doing all things.” I came. I saw. I had anxiety, so I left. It just means that your social battery drains very quickly. My mobile phone battery dies all the time because all the messages come straight to me. If only someone could intercept a few of them?

Marriage has no guarantees. If that is what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. Here’s a parenting hack for you when punishing your kids. Don’t take away their electronics. Just take their charger and watch the fear in their eyes as they use it less and less while the battery slowly dies. You’re welcome!

Brb…need to go plug my phone

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved.

178 thoughts on “Low Battery”

  1. To be honest i minded my hold world of angels on tech from consoles to computers it is a great way to rebuild confidence and reduce anxiety! Gives them structural funstions, if they are builders, simulators and struggle with self care it can build daily function for those with real cognitive issues! You just have to watch them so they don’t start slitting your neighbours throats post de-sensitising of playing too much, Assassins creed or Fallout! my personal favourites

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      1. I also taught them how to grow, cook and make independent choices, but honestly locking them in the screen is often the safest place for them to be and let the parameters do the rest!

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          3. I love children, but i hate their parents especially when they talk through them! lol would you like infusing with my dinners, anyone can cook beans you should get some staff in, my skill level keeps extra’s out!

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          7. All five ingredients that i like to call sit and smell meals were you pop back to see when the meat is cooked and the rest does itself but they do take twenty to thirty minutes depending on the carbs!

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  2. Oh my hat! I laughed and shared instantly. My children and I will quote you frequently. “I came. I saw. I had anxiety. I left.” I can so concur re phone on silent and battery going fast. I fell asleep watching a movie on my phone. Phone dead. Plugged it on and expected to see life. Not so much. Little note came up. Battery gone. Powering off in 30 seconds. It took 30 seconds to find my glasses to read it. Boom. Off it went. Had to wait hours for it because we have 3 power cuts of 2.5 hours each and… I am happy I knit. I am a non person without my phone. And I also love my bed more than I love going out.
    Happy week. Keep the battery. Ha Ha. And the faith.

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    1. haha, it’s insane how we spend so much time on our phones even at physical gatherings. Truth is we can and should be able to do without them.

      Shame about the power cuts though, you need to finish that engrossing movie 😅

      Love to the kids ❤️

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  4. This line got me, funny.. ” I came. I saw. I had anxiety, so I left. It just means that your social battery drains very quickly.” I can relate to it. But true, we need to always keep our batteries in check

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  8. Psychologist (and noted introvert) Susan Cain wrote a great book on the topic called “Quiet”. It’s about how to thrive in a world that values and rewards extroverts without having to deny yourself. Really good.

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