Sick Leave

~ Gottfried

Being sick is just your body’s way of saying you’re too awesome, and you need to slow down, so everyone can catch up. Remember when you could refer to your knees as right and left? Instead of good and bad. Ah, good times eh!

I’m so offended when my body decides to be sick. Like I gave you an orange last week. How dare you? I feel bad for the flu though. Especially since it has to spend time in my body. Health is really not valued until sickness comes.

Being sick can seem like all fun and games until you no longer live with your mom. Who else would sit there and watch you suffer? Being sick as a mom gives you a glimpse into how your family would survive without you. Listen to me, they will not make it.

I am sick, not stupid or mentally disabled. I’m not crazy. It’s not stress, it’s not in my head. I’m not causing this myself, I’m not making it up. I’m learning about myself every day. How well I deal with sickness. I can still do things for myself, like give you a whack on the head.

I like my independence but sometimes I need your help. Don’t take that as a weakness, or that I am giving up. I’m trying the best I can. We all need a little boost from time to time, lend a hand. You never know how much it could mean. I’m not ignoring you, I’m actually focused on trying not to die.

Every morning before getting out of bed, I calculate how much sick leave I still have left. I’m thinking of taking a sick day because I’m sick of people. Have you ever just gotten to the office, taken a look at your colleagues and feel sick in the stomach? Yeah me too! I’ve used up all my sick days so I’m calling in dead.

I have that feeling of being sick, but I’m not really sick. I just feel like I’d rather lay in bed all day and be unproductive for a change. First, the doctor told me the good news. I was going to have a disease named after me. When I die, I want my last words to be “I left millions of dollars under the…”

**gives up the ghost**

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

196 thoughts on “Sick Leave”

  1. Wonderful post. I love being retired because I have 365 days of sick time, and I don’t even need to be sick to use those days. I also don’t have to look at people in the office. I find retirement is a healthy way to live.

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  5. No point in commenting really! is there some people just enjoy dwelling on the lows! Get some soup, lemsip and some lucozade and choose a series to watch!
    Heres a hug relax to the max!

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      1. Well i thought you were dead! no lemsip as medical professional i swear by it! lol get out the paracetamol you pagan! to be honest i am with you on simplest of forms and you roughing it! lol🏳️‍🌈 😼 🤗 ❤️

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  8. Remember when you could refer to your knees as right and left? Instead of good and bad. Ah, good times eh!

    😭😂😂😂😂, good days those one eh, sigh

    I’m not ignoring you, I’m actually focused on trying not to die.

    That’s me every time I am having a migraine. Which is every now and then. Smh..

    If calling in dead works let me know, I am out of sick offs too 💀 😂

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          1. I swear! Smh, you’d think we have them on loan or higher purchase

            Oh boy, tell me about it. It’s like a regular régimen of torture

            Sigh, how about we do this…we invest and create a company, we find people who share the same sense of humour, and then do our thing 🤩😅

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          3. Now that would be gold, pure gold 😂😂😂, they’d send assassins at us cause we’d have cracked the code and taken control over the matrix, well, and the gold too. They wouldn’t let the gold go 😅

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          5. Am I? 😂 😂 Sigh, it’s a beautiful dream. Why not live it till I can’t? Just got off and I can proudly say that the best thing about work is clocking out. I’ll be the cto and you’ll be in charge of formulating policies 😂

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          7. True, most people would say it’s a necessary évil.. If only we could become ascetic monks and chant dharmic scriptures all day, then we’d get rid of the necessary part, then start an ambitious crusade to convince people the same 😂😂 ‘all hear ye, abandon the evil ways or going to work and stop enslaving yourself to your needs, join the ascetic monk school and your shall never want for food nor for thou shalt not desire for food, not be touched by matters of the secular world!’

            I really ran with it, didn’t I? 😂 😂

            Three days a week, 8 hours a day, including a tea break, comedy relief break, lunch break and nap time😂, it’s great doing business with you great sir!

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          8. I would 100% be a monk than keep working at my current rate. A few weeks in a cave would do me a world of good.

            haha, your mind is an amazing place.

            Comic breaks would be key for performance reviews!

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          9. Funny enough, I kinda quit my job this evening. I don’t know how to feel about it lol 😂 but if anything, I won’t have to be stressed and tired to death tomorrow and probably for some time, which I appreciate alot. It’s not the worst thing ever, could be worse.

            Innit? 😂 😂 😂 I should just drop everything and be a travelling bard..

            The words `performance review ʼ still give me nightmares 💀, work gave me ptsd 😂😂🤦🏿‍♂️…. Yeah, the breaks would definitely make for more joyous reviews.

            This has to be the longest conversation I’ve had over comments.
            We’re now officially friends. 😂

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          11. They would have killed me otherwise and ruin my chances of dying just like in the movies. Unexpectedly, with a gasp and unfinished words! We can’t have that 😂😂😂😂

            The seat is yours milord 🙇 😂😂

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  10. I can’t even feel my legs and my head, I need some sick days off too…if you don’t have any, maybe I can call in dead with you?

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