Credit Alert

~ Gottfried

Beauty is in the eye of the credit card holder. Every now and then, your phone buzzes and you see a bank alert. In this moment, your mind races through a ton of possibilities. Is it credit alert? Debit? What do they want? Banks shouldn’t be allowed to message me if its isn’t about credit alert.

No drug is as effective as a bank credit alert. It can wake up your dead cells in a matter of minutes, return your lost appetite and even make you smile in a funeral service. May credit alerts be a regular part of our lives. It’s not enough to say amen though, back it up by committing fraud regularly.

Credit alerts are unarguably the king of all alerts. Nothing in this life beats a credit alert notification. Only an unexpected credit alert comes close. You watch as your balance becomes swollen and you start to budget which food platter you’re going to buy, because you’re forever a foodie. No need to be ashamed, this is a safe space.

Debit alerts are just depressing. Can someone send money to my account. I want to confirm my credit alert still works. The debit alert is working fine though, thank you very much. I prefer to send my parents money in the dead of the night, so that they wake up to a credit alert and begin their day with a smile.

You go about your day angry because you haven’t received a huge credit alert. The kind that will bring out a smile or even possibly a chuckle from your mouth. The only way to smile daily is by making money daily. Money is a major self-care. Till date, money is the most potent skin care routine.

Credit alert are therapeutic. They have a way of making your blood pressure go down. Foreplay doesn’t always start in the bedroom. Sometimes, foreplay is listening to how your partner spent their day, a leg rub, a neck rub, a gentle massage, helping with the chores, a sincere compliment or even a credit alert.

Try other “ways” to put your partner in the “mood”. Personally, credit alerts set the tone for the evening. One beautiful morning you will wake up to see the kind of credit alert you have always prayed for. The type that will have Interpol sending a special team to come after you. Until then, continue to do what you do best. Keep grinding.

Grinding pepper

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved

88 thoughts on “Credit Alert”

  2. Ah Yes Faux Credit Alerts Online
    On A Deep Sea Expedition to Steal
    Our Monetary Funds Easy to Foil

    Though As They Most Often Can’t
    Do Grammar Either Over the Phone

    Or Email Notifications Key is Being

    An English Teacher And Hopefully

    They Won’t Get Ahold of New AI To

    Prepare The Fraud

    Without Grammar
    And Spelling Errors

    Online Remains A Wilderness
    For Fraud Replacing Phone Calls
    That Way When Land Lines Were A Thing
    Mr. Gottfried Hehe Staying Sharp Means Not

    Getting Razor
    Cut By Scams…

    Other Than That Our
    Credit Score is Way
    Over 800 They Keep
    Raising Our Limit And
    We Keep Paying the

    Full Amount Each
    Month as Overall

    Credit Is A Pyramid
    Scheme For Folks Addicted
    To The Big Green Money God
    Worshipping Cards of Plastic Yes
    Idols of Money And Stuff Indeed…

    Other Than That The Brand New
    CRV Platinum White Pearl Touring
    Model Should Be Rolling in By The
    End of The Month to Drive “Miss Daisy” in Style
    Another One of “The Bride’s” Personas Indeed Hehe..:)

    Liked by 2 people

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      1. Ah Yes Mr Gottfried
        First Lowe’s Credit
        Card in 1985 for
        Purchase of First
        Color TV Dear
        Lord it Was
        2016 Before
        Totally Loan
        Free And Again
        Federal Government
        Financing The Platinum
        White Pearl Brand New
        CRV Touring Hybrid All
        Wheel Drive For Driving
        Ms Daisy Plus A Considerable
        Amount of Back Pay Falling
        Down on
        The Job
        Of Delivering
        100 Percent of
        my Retirement
        Pay From Last June 6th
        In The Year 2022 True

        Just Like
        Mold GRoWinG
        iN A Bank They

        Owe
        me
        Free
        Hehe

        True
        Master
        The Tool

        Don’t Let The
        Dollar Bill Pyramid
        Scheme Make US A Fool🤑🤮

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          1. HAha Yes Mr Gottfried
            A Mix Of All Is Paid
            Off And Inflation Is
            Beautiful Home
            Worth Double in
            Four Years Heck
            Even The Trade in
            Value of my 2014 Honda EX
            CiViC Coupe at 9 Years
            Old Has Risen For Trade
            in At The Dealer Since
            Two Years Ago JeSuS
            F iN Christ Married
            For 33 Years Wife
            More Beautiful
            Than Ever
            Before
            Close To
            53 And Dear
            me Closing in
            On 63 Since
            6.6.60 3 Times
            Stronger than At
            53 Yep Still Leg PReSSinG
            699 KiLoGRaMS 12 Reps
            6 Scale More Than
            my 111 KiLoGRaMS
            Weight oF Finger
            Tips Twinkle Toes
            Dancing With Stars
            Within FRiEnDS With
            Gravity Dear Lord CREDIT

            ALERT!!!

            This iS HEaVeN
            Hope You Visit
            Within Soon 🔜
            And Sooner 🔜
            With SMiLes True🤑

            Oh The Joy of
            GRoWinG OLD
            STiLL BLooMinG

            SPRinG
            iN February
            FLoWeRS AGAiN
            🦋🏝💫🙏 🔜

            Liked by 1 person

          3. Ah Yes Dear Mr. Gottfried Way Back Then Eating Pork and Beans
            Wife Cutting Up 10 Cents A Pound Chicken Leg Quarters
            To Eat Tearing Away All the Loose Fat Yes Starting Off So

            Poor Even at Age 29 After 3 College Degrees With 19 Year
            Old Wife Who Still Rarely Ages Hehe Yet True only About 5 Bucks
            An Hour Still Then A Family of Two to Start on That Anyway That Was

            1990 Fast Forward to 1993 Buying That Home Saving 3,000 Dollars For
            A Down Payment Then She Got Employed And the Government Appropriated

            mY Job At A Bowling
            Center For the Military
            God Yes With Tax Payer
            Dollars Doubling my Pay

            Yes Thanks President
            Clinton For That
            New Executive
            Order Then That
            Truly Increased my Credit
            Limit For The Same Home the

            Realtor Tried to Shame Us into A Bigger
            One With No Garden of Eden Forest Back

            Yard to Create For Living in Heaven Later on New
            in A Real GOlden Age Now It’s Not ALL About the Structure

            And Or Form It’s All About the Essence of the LoVE iN Peace
            Within Most True Even Within my Temple of God For Real

            Garden the LoVE iN Peace Make Eden A Garden

            For Real the Heaven Within That Flows

            Giving Sharing Caring Healing

            For All With Most Respect

            Least Harm Yes LoVE iN
            Peace In LoVE Naked
            Enough Whole

            Complete

            iNHaLinG Peace
            EXHaLinG LoVE iN JoY oF LiGHT

            Real Yes my Kind And Witty Nigerian FRiEnD

            aS Even ‘Super Tramp Relates’ That Great UK Band

            Do ‘Give A Little Bit’ Raise A HoMe of Heaven WiTHiN..:)

            Liked by 1 person

  8. I miss credits alerts😩😩..and yes they are therapeutic…studies have also shown that they truly reduce blood pressure..stress and depression (don’t ask me for links to these studies)…I am a living witness tho…Credit alerts have shown to also increase your love tank..
    Love this blogposts…

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