We need to create a department of common sense. People should be required to write special exams before they earn the right to vote. If you have room temperature IQ, you shouldn’t be allowed to participate in elections. Blind support in this day and age should be punishable by hanging. If you don’t know enough about your candidate, don’t vote.

I voted. I farted too, but there’s no sticker for that. Every election is determined by people who show up and a little bit of rigging. Here’s the problem, while some folks are frustrated and tuned out and staying at home on Election Day, trust me other folks are showing up. Democracy continues with or without you.

Election time. When choosing who to vote for is like choosing which brand of shoe gets to kick you in the balls. You could chance on a really comfy pair but whatever you do my dear friend, avoid Balenciaga. Organizing free and fair elections is more important than the result itself.

Everyone’s on facebook with their political rantings, then there’s me on Twitter scrolling through the funniest memes I can find. Dear Facebook, adding an “unfriend until Election Day” option would save me a lot of time. If voting didn’t make any difference they wouldn’t let us do it.

The problem with political jokes is that they get elected. You can’t fix stupid, but you can vote it out. If you must pick between two evils, pick the one you have not tried before. Regardless of who wins, an election should be a time for optimism and fresh approaches.

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you won’t sit for a month. Voting is like choosing your favorite mosquito from the swarm. Any wrong selection and in addition to worrying about the bites, you now have the added worry of possibly getting AIDS.

Elections are always a little bit funny. People start saying things and emphasizing differences. After the election, my hope is, is that people start emphasizing what we have in common. It is enough that people know there was an election. The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything.

Hold them accountable.

©️ Gottfried. All rights reserved


48 thoughts on “Elections

      1. Pesky little creatures! 😁 I do my best. Researching candidates has become quite an ordeal these last few years. I also get inundated with text messages… vote for me… send me money! I was part of a large team of teachers who worked on some education initiatives a few years ago, so they’ve got my number. 😩

        Liked by 2 people

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